Slow Sunday....

Hi dear... Just finished my viewings for the day.. Slow Sunday overall but I hope the rentals turn out well.. My Glades at Tanah Merah has some starbuy units at more attractive prices.... So far only one of my previous clients responded...... I hope I am able to close a unit there soon....

So when are u heading former next vacation with Wydia? hope u enjoy urself....

Days without u are truly slow and meaningless.... But 苦中一点甜。hope it gets better....

If I make the first move.....

I read the horoscope in the straits times 2 days ago.... Even though u have always insisted that I m a Aquarius, I Still see myself v much as a Capricorn...... When I saw this horoscope it seemed to be telling me that its perhaps time for me to finally see u....

The horoscope said this " Try to reach out to that long estranged friend or lover. There is no need for grudges to rule your respective worlds. if u make the first move, he is likely to respond well"

I certainly hope that this is the case for me, hope that u will respond well when I muster the courage to see u.... Hope u enjoy a good Deepavali weekend with Wydia... I miss both of u.... Tomorrow I will be working at the show flat.... Take care....

How have u been..

Hi Dear,

    At this point in time, I m sure Wydia is already having her school holidays and both of u should be preparing for another trip overseas with ur gfs.... All the best to u and I hope u enjoy the coming trip...

   Things are more settled for me now..... At least the income from my rental deals are finally getting more stable after liaising more often with my China tenants.... Starting to give regular allowance to my mum and she and my dad is happier nowadays... Time really flies.... Last sat Wydia just celebrated her 1st year birthday.... The time which u have not seen her is equivalent to almost how long I have not seen u.... I recalled putting down 16th of this month Thurs in my phone reminder that this will be the day I mustered the courage to go look for u.... But I realized that I still do not have the courage to see u yet.... Perhaps I cannot exactly give u all the answers u want....

   I m sure at times u see me as a coward.... As someone who is perhaps more useless than Derek.... U may not believed me for the reasons I may tell u.... But I hope over time, u can be forgiving towards me.... No amount of sorrys is enough but I hope time heals....

   have a good evening ahead..... Take care....

Dear How have u been?

Hi Dear,

How have u been? Sorry for not updating this blog for some time.... hope you are still following this blog... even though I know if u dun, I can understand....

Sept school holidays just ended not too long ago... so u managed to spend quality time bonding with Wydia? Noticed that she started wearing glasses in fb.... Hope school work wise she is still coping fine....

Recently I have been busy with the new condo the Glades at Tanah Merah, so plenty of travelling up and down to the east side from the west.... now that the showflat is officially opened, I have to travel to the showflat at least 1 weekday and weekend day.... so far buyers have been quite receptive to the sales market due to all the government policies and high prices, but I hope with patience, potential buyers will be coming back soon.... so for now, i will be focusing on the resale and rental market in the west... my working partner Carrie (if u spotted me taking some photos with her in fb) has been a good help in helping me run some of my resale in the west while I was busy with the Glades.... hope things turn out well...

I saw Ai a month back when she was trying to rope me in to her health products scheme.... hope she passed the 4 Hello Kitty stuff toys to u.... just a small token on my part... sorry I did not managed to get the other 2 kitties for u... queued for 3 hours for the black one but guessed I was a little too late.... heard from her that things are doing good for u... u and Wydia are constantly in my prayers even for now.....

All the best and I hope to see u soon.... Take care....

June Holidays and I hope u and Wydia are enjoying urself

  Hi Dear, how have u been? Its been a while since I last updated for this blog... wondering if u still have the habit of coming here anymore....

  Noticed that u cut ur hair short recently... u looked better and freshly with the new hairdo.... are u also slimmer over the months? Seemed to be the case....

  Property wise has been pretty slow for me recently.... rentals and sales have not been easy to close lately.... A senior of mine at property offered me a lecturing post at his consultancy company, teaching basic accounting... the terms offered are better than what I am getting at Omega.... so I will be starting on this by month end....

  An uncle of mine died recently from stomach cancer.... he is not even 60... made me realized that life can be so short.... he doted on me a lot when he was alive... my mum was heartbroken during his wake....

  The time away from u made me realized that I still do think of u and miss u.... I hope u and Wydia are doing well.... I dun have the guts or courage to face u for now.... but I still hope over time, I can still earn your forgiveness... I missed the good times I had with u and Wydia.....

  Happy Kitty mania is here again... are u also doing the collections from macs?

  Miss u.... I will try to do an update at least on weekly basis...

Just finished my day.....

  Hi dear, I just finished my day for today......  earlier I was at NUH attending to my PRC tenants and finally collecting my commission from them for submission to office tomorrow.... though it has been a long day for me, I guess nothing beats the satisfaction of serving a group of satisfied tenants, whom I can look forward for renewal again in a year's time :)

  Sorry for sms-ing u last sat..... kept telling myself not to disturb again in the meantime till things get better for me.... but somehow or rather subconsciously, while drinking with Johnson and May and a new guy friend at Obar, I still went on to sms u.... I strongly believe now my feelings for u are still v strong.... I hope things get better and I will muster the courage to look for u again..... Frankly speaking, I dun know how u will react... will u just walk away or slam the door at me.... I have no idea..... but I do miss u alot..... been wondering how things are with u and Wydia.... right now I can only get updates of u in fb..... not even sure if u do read this blog anymore.... but I certainly hope u still do.... still hoping for u to care.....

  Serving a few groups of tenants for the next 2 weeks... hoping to close at least 2 of them whole units soon... will be involving myself in new launch project marketing soon.... wish me luck...

  Goodnight dear....

Moody weekend....

  Hi Dear, I hope you had a fulfilling weekend with Wydia before she ended her March school holidays....

  It was a moody weekend for me... been pretty frustrating serving Indians who has no sense of loyalty.... anyway catch up with u again... busy day in office...

211 Terrace Cafe

  Hi dear. I managed to close my first whole unit rental after almost 2 months of trying to close transactions. Actually brought 3 groups of people to see this 2+1 unit at clementi... and finally this nice PrC couple decided on the unit... even though the commission is only $1100 for me, but that is a good start... something to share with u... this PRC couple are PhD holders doing research in cancer tumours at NUH... really amazing of them and I hope they are able to help with finding a cure for cancer too...

  Saw in ur fb that u are actually at 211 cafe at Holland Village... reminded me of how we walked past this cafe while browsing at this Holland Village shopping mall... and to think that I was almost near u having a viewing at blk 9 Holland Avenue, well supposedly... because last minute, the tenants cancelled the viewing there and arranged for tomorrow night instead... tomorrow night will be busy busy for me as I will be at Holland Avenue and Commonwealth cresecent attending to 3 groups of indian tenants... Plenty of indian curry for me I guess lol....

  Will be at MBS convention hall for the next 2 days as Propnex is having a booth there for the international investment convention.... I volunteered for the 2 days as I hope to catch some leads to swing to the Hillview Peak project that will be having its VVIP next week... well wish me luck...

  Eric was released today, and he called and asked about us... didn't tell him much but just that I have let u down in a way and we were not contacting much... I hope time and my efforts over time do heal... and i can muster the courage to call u again after working things out financially....

 Have been attracted to these 2 songs... Second Chance and Just A fool by Christina Aguilera... pretty much summed up how I have been feeling about u... and how I wish I can turn back time... I still miss u a lot.... and  I pray each night that u have been happy and fine... along with Wydia... I miss both of u....

 

Hoping to close whole units rentals this weekend

   Hi Dear. It has been almost 3 weeks since I last updated this blog. I have been trying to keep myself busy for this period of time, mainly focusing on HDB rentals.... Got some listings for rooms rentals mostly but guess the market is still a bit on the slow side even after CNY. In the meantime, I am still actively sourcing for 3 groups of Indian tenants (so many indians called and wanted whole units). Frankly speaking not an easy task as most of the landlords prefer non-Indians.... But I will try my best.....

  Came to office to do some updates and printing of documents... will be involved in an extensive whole week course next week on the strategies for selling and renting HDB flats... hope that will be useful to me....

  The March school holidays are coming... wondering if u will be going on a overseas holiday with Wydia... I still miss u lots.... Plenty of things to tell u... I just hope time heals.... Doing my best to buck up and turn things around.... I hope u will still be there for me.....

Something happy in school to share....

  Hi Dear, just wanna share something happy that happened during class yesterday evening. Most of my students from my previous class in Taxation last semester told me during Business class last night that they managed to pass their Taxation :) (they just received their results on 8th Feb just before CNY and yesterday was their first day back in my class)..... I was feeling really happy for them because that was one of my most challenging courses to teach them due to a number of changes to the taxation regulations and procedures from last year's budget. At the same time after they took the exams, a number of students told me that the paper was difficult and they were not too confident in getting a pass for the paper.... End of the day, except for only 2 of them, the rest of them managed to pass.... At least one piece of good news during this gloomy period for me....

  My west side partner managed to get 2 more whole unit rentals for himself and he was good enough to share with me the listings, which I posted on my Propertyguru account.... Hopefully I will be able to get some direct tenants who will be keen to rent. Hope to get more and more listings and hopefully close some of them within the week and get some income coming in..... Simon is the roving IC in charge of a new project involved in cluster terrace houses in AMK area.... He wanted me and the group to do some active advertising online and in our Guru accounts.... Hopefully with some active marketing soon (will be doing hyping and telemarketing actively by later March), perhaps we can get some positive leads.... Keeping our fingers crossed...

  Going to a new showflat for this new project called Bartley Edge, pretty near to Serangoon's NEX tomorrow morning.... will be putting these new launches and information in my Guru account too.... Hope things turn out fine....

  Spent the afternoon heading to 3 blocks in Toh Guan and give flyers door-to-door.... will be doing some telemarketing later tonight after a quick dinner....

  I miss u.... guess u should be monitoring and helping Wydia with her homework tonight.... Hope to get my life back on track soon and see u again....

  Love......

CNY and still missing u.....

  Hi Dear, can see that so far u had a pretty enjoyable festive period for the past week, judging from the fb photos which u had posted so far.... this 2 days, my feelings and thoughts had been much calmer. This is probably because your birthday and Valentine's day were already over. Even though all this while I have not heard from you, but I hope you did received my cards and well-wishes sent to you over the past week. Last tues when I delivered the card and oranges to your place during lunch time, I was half expecting u to be out visitng friends and relatives. But I was quite surprised to see your door opened and TV switched on. I was priming myself to face u and send my wishes, but u were not in the living room, so I left the stuff just right inside your doorstep. I hope u had an enjoyable birthday, even though I wished I had spent it with u....

  I miss u a lot during this period of time.... but until I'm able to settle my finances, and be truthful n honest with u thereafter, I know u have no wish at all to probably keep in touch with me. I have been actively involved in the group's activities, and will be embarking on this course taught by the seniors on how to clinch sales. There will be a new GTA group formed in the west side other than Simon's group from this coming week onwards. So with the course, GTA and my night classes, I will be keeping myself busy and hope to get some exclusives along the way. My propertyguru account with some rentals on offer is up and running. So if u happen to still read this blog, u can go to propertyguru online and search for my name. I will be lining up a few more room rentals, and another condo whole unit rental soon. I set myself a target of 3 months to get things on track. Hopefully by then, u can still regard me as a friend, and hope things get better from there.....

  A lot of things also happened during this period of time when we are not keeping in touch. I hope your non-replies do not mean that u are already giving up on me as a friend.  I may not have been too honest or truthful at times, but pls trust that I never meant to hurt u in any way. For now, I will let my actions and commitment towards work make up for words.

  I have been going to church every sat evening as well, and my prayers will always include u and ur princess. I still care very much for both of u. For now, I can only say, take care Dear....

  PS. I have been buying 3238 recently.... just a small wager and hope it brings us luck.....

Official Days without U - Day 34

  Hi Dear, I understand that even though we may not be keeping in contact anymore, but perhaps in time to come, u might still come to this blog one fine day and get some updates on my current life. I still hope to get your understanding and seek your forgiveness in future.

  I have been coming into Propnex office till late other than on nights whereby I have my accounting lectures, which happened to be tomorrow night. Ever since I got my property license on 18th Jan Fri, I have been updating myself with the current property rules and cooling measures to get myself better equipped for the property market. Simon has created a GTA in west side area targeting Jurong, Choa Chu Kang and Hillview with 2 other members who are much more experienced in the industry. So I will be hoping to pick up as much as I can and learn from them as well. I have been trying my hand at cold calling and telemarketing last fri night for blk 240 and 248 which are near my place. Not much luck except plenty of slamming down of voices and angry occupants telling me not to call anymore. Whatever the case, I will be trying to call again tonight for other blocks.

  I just designed my new flyer to be distrubuted around my Jurong area. Hope to pick up some leads along the way as well. I just gotten approval from the office to distribute, sending to printing company and will get the flyers by this friday. I attached a copy of the flyer for u to see. What do u think?

  Guess you must be busy planning for your precious's birthday party this wed, or u have already done a party for her over the weekend? Whatever it is, hope both of you enjoy urself. I sent a birthday card to your address for her. Hope she like it.

Sorry for my Unintentional Hurt

  Not sure if you still have the occasional habit of coming to this blog and read what I have to say anymore. First of all, truly sorry for any hurt I may have brought to u by my "honest" lies. Knowing how your relationship with Derrick had previously evolved and how you hated and feared some of the things he did in the past, I chose not to disclose and put certain things away from you. Instead I chose to solve certain issues on my own without making you worry. Pls trust that it was never the intentional hurt I may have brought upon u.

  Another thing I would like to clarify is at no time did I compromise nor disclose any of your details or contacts to undesirable people. I have no idea how your contact was leaked to them in the first place, but I have made known to this person that in no way is he to contact u and put u under any form of distress. I will be settling my full outstanding amount with them by end of this week after I get my salary from the school. As for the rest, I will clear all with them before CNY....

  I believe you will not be interested to keep in contact with me any more. I dun blame you for that. But I hope that over time, after all my issues have been resolved and u are able to slowly forgive me, we can still catch up with each other. Despite all that has happened, you are still the one I care for and deeply feel for. I dun wish to lose you but I believe the ball is no longer in my court. Give me some time to resolve my issues and be an honest person to u. All the best to you. Really hope and pray for you and Wydia.

   I will still update my thoughts and feelings, as well as my livelihood here. I hope I will get my license renewed by CEA within next 2 weeks and will get myself heavily involved in rentals and resale for this period of time first.

  God bless and take care Dear.....

When we dun communicate anymore.....

   I realised that I have not updated my blog for almost a month, and I probably have to say sorry to this "blog" for only updating when something happened to our relationship. And perhaps also sorry to u. In the course of our relationship, and in the course of our communication, I admit there have been some thoughts and feelings I did not say to u upfront. Many a times, I would think about what is the best way to bring out something to u without provoking you. Along the way, I have to take care of your fragile temper and temperament. I may not be a perfect person, and I do have a lot of shortcomings. But the bottomline is, I care and love u a lot. My communication skills may not be tip-top, but I try my best to communicate across to u.

  I did some soul searching for the past 2 days. This is my point of view. As we developed further into the relationship, intense feelings and actions, such as love and intimacy are part and parcel of a normal relationship. Through the course of all my previous relationships, including the one I had with Dawn, my married partner, these are the things me and my partner do. And I do not see anything wrong with that. To me, initmacy is more than just lust. It also meant a certain level of bonding and understanding between 2 people in love with each other. When we walked together, when we talked to each other or even when we felt sad or happy, the occasional grasp of the arm, the arming of the shoulder or even a pat on the thigh, simply meant u wanna tell the other party, "No matter how things turn out, u have been a Dear, and I appreciate u being there for me." After the end of a long day, whether at work or vacation, a simple embrace or peck would make the day's efforts worth it. If such actions are considered excessive, then perhaps all this while, this "friend" which is me has been too excessive in the relationship.

   What I have just mentioned, these have been my point and thought of view. Given your current status, I believe you feel that these actions may be considered excessive. I met up with Joyce on sun afternoon and we spoke a lot. Or rather I spoke a lot while she listened. She wanted me to hang on and hope for the best. I admit in the midst of our relationship, there has indeed been frustrations. But there has also been plenty of joys. We may not be compatible in many ways, we may think differently. We may even feel that the other party can be unreasonable at times. But end of the day, I hope we can still work things out. If the feelings are still there, I believe we can still make it. I know a lot of things and situations, u have to consider W. I never begrudge or moan about your priorities toward her, and I respect that.

  As I promised, no staying over at your place, no intimacy and no body contact till you are comfortable or after your divorce is settled. That is my commitment to u for now. I dun know how and what u feel towards me now. Due to your status. and my situation, I know you are holding back. For now, let's just hope for the best.

  Take care Dear. And I say again. My feelings for u never changed. If you still care for me, I hope you think of me at times.

 

 

Gloomy Gloomy

 It has been 2 days since we actually talked more than 2 mins on the phone. Frankly speaking, it has been a pretty unbearable 2 days for me. Since our evening conversation on Monday, somehow we seemed to really drift apart. I really hope we are able to start talking normally to each other real soon. The night before, when I sms-ed asking if you believe the things and feelings I write in the blog. There was no reply. Till now, I have this strong feeling that perhaps things may not be working out for us anymore.

  Felt sad and down as I am writing this. I just hope that you can go back to the jovial and talkative Dear whom I have always known.

  For now, I really dun know what else I can do. I hope the set-up and format of the marketing plan can help ease some pressure off you. As for now, I feel that the sms-es I receive from u are pretty quiet too...

  As things stand, I hope u will get and feel better. My days of updating this blog should be coming to an end soon..... I will take a step back and 放手for now.... I will give u as much time as u need for now... hope to wait for u....

Perhaps sometimes love just ain't enough?

    After our conversation on the phone earlier just before 5pm, I sighed off with a heavy heart. My mind went blank for a full 10 mins or so. After that, I started to think about our whole relationship. First I started to think about the incidents for the past few days. I started to think about the things which went right and also went wrong for the past few days. Did I simply make the entire relationship so sour at this point that perhaps we are both afraid to pick up the phone and talk to each other, in case we may provoke each other unintentionallly?

  Seriously, I never wanted things to turn out this way. In the end, talking the natural way turns out to be unnatural for us. Yes probably for me, after years and years of formal english education, some spoken language may deemed to be uncouth and impolite, and probably I may be slighted offended at times, but end of the day, at least for now, I can still handle the way you speak. End of the day, I dun want this to be the barrier for us to communicate and develop further. Yes, at times due to my usual sinus and my expressionless and blank face (which can sometimes be taken as a look some may be mistaken as a foul look), I may choose to be silent at certain times when we are together.

  But that does not mean that I am angry, upset or even frustrated with u. During times like this when I am like that and u asked whether I am ok, and I sounded positive, I may have entered into my "cave" for self reflect and deep thoughts. (The cave for men is taken from the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus", whereby men usually dun talk much and likes to go into their "cave" for deep thought and analysis, like when they are quiet or just keep staring at the tv, whereas women like to talk their way through to solve their problems and issues) Sometimes I also do not want u to worry too much at that time. Friday night for instance, I was feeling the effects of the flu so much that I kept sneezing away and I could barely open my eyes at times. I was quiet at times because I could feel the sneeze coming my way. I had sinus since young and at times I could be sneezing the entire day. I was hoping the sneeze do go away later in the night because when we were waiting at the bus stop, I can sense that it is making me uncomfortable. But at that point in time, I do not want to disappoint Wydia and hence I agreed to go over your place for a while. I was not unhappy because you said I cannot stay overnight at your place that night. I never hold any expectations of that anymore.

  Even on sat night, I was not unhappy or anything. I was just running fast to meet up with u and still trying to catch my breath while talking to u at Mos Burger. SOmetimes when I need to talk while catching my breath, it may not be easy for me to really talk easy when talking.

  End of the day, what I am trying to say is nobody's perfect and nobody is exactly easy to get along with. Our characters may be diverse and at times the way we talk and behave may irritate each other. But that does not mean I have stopped loving and caring for u. Differences can always be bridged. I may not say the same about u, but I believe that if there's a way, there's a will and certain accomodations can be made on my part too. I am sure u also agree that u do not exactly have a good temper and u do have your mood swings too. We all have that. I will do my part to communicate my swings and sinus to u in future.

  I really hope things will be as before. Just be yourself. I need you to be.... I still hope the feelings we had for each other will be enough to carry us through...

 

PS....

Hope you have a good weekend day for some rest....

 Miss your laughter and smile......

Tip No. 7: Appreciate for who you are, not what u can become

   These 2-3 days, we dun seemed to talk much. I believe it has more or less to do with our conversation and sms-es a few days back on me commenting on how u can be a difficult person to be with, and your language being a bit blunt at times. Perhaps due to this, I noticed that you tend to speak less and more cautious with what you say, even when u are angry being afraid to say something which may provoke me unneccessarily.

  I may have over-reacted and be slightly sensitive at times, but I still miss the usual and old u. Whatever it is, it has always been the usual u whom I have liked all this while. And the feelings still stay as always. Maybe at times, I feel that u may not be very ladylike in terms of language and behaviour, but I still like the usual u.

  Just be the natural u whom u have always been, ok Dear? I miss the u calling me about your shopping spree and whether the clothes and shoes u have seemed fit u. I miss the usual u asking if u look fat in any of your clothes. I miss the usual u who silly-laughed a lot in front of me. I dun see all that much often nowadays. Just be yourself. I know u said that before but I have never wanted u to become someone else. Sometimes we may change here and there over the years to be a better person, but definitely not to the extent of losing yourself.

  Today's church session mentioned that in a relationship, we must never let the "hate" factor get in the way of us, because it will only make it worse instead of better. I will learn to curb my anger and frustration better, and not let that get in the way of developing our relationship further.

  Take care and goodnight....

PS I Appreciate U

    Writing the blog so far makes me realise that I do appreciate u, and the times we always spend together. Even though I hardly know if you ever read my blog (other than the view clicks I see on the main page), I believe for now it is good enough....

   Thanks for the memories......

Tip No. 6: Basic Security

    Despite all the differences in personality and character, we still remained very much as friends. Or are we? The intensity, the intimacy and the times spent with each other, whether via meet-ups or phone, far surpasses what I define as a friend. So what is holding us back other than the marital status? Taking a reality check, it simply boils down to financial security.

   At my age, and with all the vast educational and working background, unfortunately I could not provide my loved one with something as basic as financial security. At this moment, I should indeed be ashamed of myself. Every one should be entitled to a shot at love, but if I cannot provide my loved one with financial security, can this love even last? I understand her concerns, and despite me giving myself reasons and explainations, I should stand up and do my part. That should be the least I can do.

   At this point it will be wrong of me to ask for any commitment from you. I will do my part. When I am ready, I hope you are still there for me. I hope I can be ready within a year itself....

   PS Appreciate your time and effort in coming to the blog and search for updates.... verbally u may not be a romantic person but I know u care....