Oversensitive am I?

     When I first started this blog, it was used mainly to vent my frustrations on one heartless Jasmine who apparently discarded me as a close friend. Subsequently it was used to show my love and affections for one clueless S. Clueless perhaps she has not exactly made up her mind about me, whether we should be together. One of the main reason being she has not finalised her divorce. Valid reason so I accept that. Tonight during our hearty dinner at Holland V, she told me a second reason would be my roving eye towards gals that come in my direction. Before that, I always said that my future partner has to be really generous towards that "defect" of mine and that she should always be assured of my love. Not a easy thing to do even though I had some gfs and lovers in the past who are big-hearted enough. For me it works both ways: I dun mind my partner checking out gorgeous hunks and even telling me about it. Chances of her accepting this "defect" about me is pretty slim, so I guess very likely I would have to be celibate and be totally devoted to her. Well perhaps I do have to come to terms with that harsh fact.

   After tonight, there is a third reason, and perhaps a really tricky one. It has very much to do with our fiery tempers. We had quarrelled and clashed a few times in the past. This time round, because of the way she had commented on my sense of achievement over the low passing rate of my students, I got a bit agitated. As usual I wanted her to cut me some slack with regards to the way she put certain things across. But she felt very strongly that I am being overly sensitive and that there is nothing wrong with her "straight talking". I can admit to that and wanted to reach a compromise. But knowing her fiery temper, I know 9 out of 10 times, she would definitely expect me to give in to her. I dunno..... Its bad enough that I have trying my best to sort out the syllabus and trying to improve it so that my students can benefit more in future. But for now, I am not too sure if she is still the pillar of strength I see her in my times of down and need.

  Not to mention a fourth reason which has to do with my hornyness and my own physical need. She felt that if I really do love and respect her, then perhaps abstinence of "home run" for at least 60 days would go a long way in showing it.

   Now with all these factors turning into a reality check for me, at this time and moment, I dun think I have a direct solution to it.

  Let's take a break for tomorrow friday. I would like to be alone for now. I see you on sat for our JB short getaway.....

  PS. I still feel very strongly for u, and really hope we can work things out.... when things happened, I have to bear part of the blame too..... right now, I can only say the "straight talking" might be the greatest stumbling block.