The weekend is right at my doorstep. Will be posting some further thoughts and reflections for the day since I am waiting for the computer system to compile the data and information I have inputed so far. After that, I should be able to retire for the night. Tonight's mood is a bit sombre, because I am feeling a little out-of-mood, and it's supposed to be friday night. Party night should I say. Hhmm let's hope the mood picks up later tonight...
Sometimes its indeed not easy to get along well with someone. Perhaps the chinese phase of 相见如意, 相处难 is really true. My parents also berated me for having a nasty and stubborn temper, which would make things at a disadvantage for me. But I realised that I dun do that to friends, more towards the people I love. So whenever a quarrel or misunderstanding occurs, sometimes I would choose to walk away from it all. Perhaps hoping that things would get better after we have cooled down. Not too sure if that is the right mentality. But that is simply just me....
Let's pray for the best and hope we can overcome all that....
Friday 31 August 2012
How lame can I be??
Nowadays I seemed to be spending a lot of time with her. In the past, we have talked about how we should be spending less time on drinking, and devoting our quality time on other healthier activities. Well if u mean devoting time to having more dinners together, then I guess it is definitely the healthier option. It was so different when we meet and catch up during the first to 2 months when we get to know each other better. Then food is never a good option as slimming down is the priority then. But the night before, I actually heard for a long long time that u were hungry and perhaps craving for food then :). Health and slimming should go hand in hand and rely on proper diet and exercise. But knowing me, I have a sweet tooth for food and desserts which are sinful and higher in calories, and I appreciate the effort and time she put into going out with me and eating much more than her usual volume of food.
We had a enjoyable evening of good food (think of seafood platter at Manhatten Fish Market), good desserts (delicious ice cream and apply creampie), and finally a good jug of drinks (a bitter taste followed by a new improved proper jug of beer). The night ended with us making our own way home for the evening.
Sometimes I suspect I write for the sake of writing because I know she is looking forward to my blog for my thoughts and feelings for the day, so I simply write. Sometimes I suspect she also doubt whether I have a day job at my school because I seemed to have plenty of time on my side. Sometimes I suspect that due to my at times fiery temper and her straight talking, one party has to give or we would end up having the quarrel of the century. Sometimes I suspect whether I am just patronising her or I simply just love her too much. Perhaps sometimes I am just someone lame and petty, so there is not a need to bother about me too much. It's tiring and energy zapping having to justify myself all the time.....
Sometimes perhaps, love alone is simply not enough. Love may be more about practicality afterall. If that is the case, then perhaps it's a really sad and harsh reality bite for me.
If you have not heard about this song before, then this song reflects my current thoughts...
"But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough" - Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough, Don Henley
We had a enjoyable evening of good food (think of seafood platter at Manhatten Fish Market), good desserts (delicious ice cream and apply creampie), and finally a good jug of drinks (a bitter taste followed by a new improved proper jug of beer). The night ended with us making our own way home for the evening.
Sometimes I suspect I write for the sake of writing because I know she is looking forward to my blog for my thoughts and feelings for the day, so I simply write. Sometimes I suspect she also doubt whether I have a day job at my school because I seemed to have plenty of time on my side. Sometimes I suspect that due to my at times fiery temper and her straight talking, one party has to give or we would end up having the quarrel of the century. Sometimes I suspect whether I am just patronising her or I simply just love her too much. Perhaps sometimes I am just someone lame and petty, so there is not a need to bother about me too much. It's tiring and energy zapping having to justify myself all the time.....
Sometimes perhaps, love alone is simply not enough. Love may be more about practicality afterall. If that is the case, then perhaps it's a really sad and harsh reality bite for me.
If you have not heard about this song before, then this song reflects my current thoughts...
"But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough" - Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough, Don Henley
Wednesday 29 August 2012
The horizontal issue...
Nowadays my Dear is keeping a close tab as to whether I have done my homework (via updating my blog). Indeed it can be quite a challenge having to come up with new topics to reflect for the day.I guess perhaps today I shall touch on the all-time sensitive topic for the modern women - Weight!!
Over the past year or so, even before I get to know Dear, she has actually embarked on a strict slimming regime which has already saw her lost more than 10kgs since then. Lately, because she can be seen sticking pretty close to me, she cannot help but stared long and hard at whichever direction which has the slightest glimpse of images of us together hand in hand (Think of mirrors and glass around shopping malls or buildings). And she could not help but bombarded me with questions on whether we looked compatible together. My almost immediate answer is always one with a positive "Yes", even though at times she would really doubt the sincerity of my answer. I believe she will always think of my answer as a politically correct one :)
As much as she might not really believe what I saw, I always try to convince and comfort her by saying that she is good enough the way I see her. Perhaps all the while I have been so used to being with partners who usually looked bigger than me, whether it is vertically or horizontally. And all the while I have never been bothered or feel awkward with them. To me, these are merely statistics which may mean a lot to Dear, but these statistics do not mean as much as my feelings for her. Knowing how concerned she is with regards to keeping her weight down as much as possible (a further 8kg is what is keeping us apart, according to her for now), so I know the horizontal figures will only get shorter instead of longer. Perhaps for me, I have always been more obsessed with her curves being in the right places in the sizes I desire. LOL.
For now, I will tend to agree with a further loss of 8kg being just a strong desire to look better with slimmer looks. Nobody's perfect. But for now, I still love Dear for what she is now.
"nobody's a picture perfect
but we're worth it
you know that we're worth it."- Dark Side, Kelly Clarkson
Over the past year or so, even before I get to know Dear, she has actually embarked on a strict slimming regime which has already saw her lost more than 10kgs since then. Lately, because she can be seen sticking pretty close to me, she cannot help but stared long and hard at whichever direction which has the slightest glimpse of images of us together hand in hand (Think of mirrors and glass around shopping malls or buildings). And she could not help but bombarded me with questions on whether we looked compatible together. My almost immediate answer is always one with a positive "Yes", even though at times she would really doubt the sincerity of my answer. I believe she will always think of my answer as a politically correct one :)
As much as she might not really believe what I saw, I always try to convince and comfort her by saying that she is good enough the way I see her. Perhaps all the while I have been so used to being with partners who usually looked bigger than me, whether it is vertically or horizontally. And all the while I have never been bothered or feel awkward with them. To me, these are merely statistics which may mean a lot to Dear, but these statistics do not mean as much as my feelings for her. Knowing how concerned she is with regards to keeping her weight down as much as possible (a further 8kg is what is keeping us apart, according to her for now), so I know the horizontal figures will only get shorter instead of longer. Perhaps for me, I have always been more obsessed with her curves being in the right places in the sizes I desire. LOL.
For now, I will tend to agree with a further loss of 8kg being just a strong desire to look better with slimmer looks. Nobody's perfect. But for now, I still love Dear for what she is now.
"nobody's a picture perfect
but we're worth it
you know that we're worth it."- Dark Side, Kelly Clarkson
Tuesday 28 August 2012
Lost and found
Sorry for not posting for the past 3 days, as I was spending most of my weekend with Dear (Think sat evening to late Sun evening, more than 24 hours, record breaking :)) Guess I must have caused my Dear some anxious moments when she saw that I have not been doing my "homework". So for the record, the "lost" child is finally here to continue his wonderful journey with the woman he loves.
There are a few insightful moments during the week end which I would like to write about today.
Finally my Dear decided to head to church with me on Sat evening. For a non-Christian liker her, I believe she would have her reservations and concerns when going to church for the very first time. Well I have my first time too as a non-believer, and I can truly understand these reservations and concerns. But then again, I believe in going to church with an open mind and heart, even for now.With all the energetic gospel singing by the wonderful female church singers, backed by group of backup singers and strong casting of band, such a moment is akin to watching my favourite singers at a live concert. I enjoyed the times watching that with my Dear, hand in hand. This is followed by my pastor Ronny giving his usual speech via the phrases quoted in the bible. All these while I tried observing my Dear during her first such session. She seemed expressionless at times but, apart from a slight scare when my mum tried to take the initiative to get a fellow sister to preach to Dear about the teachings from God, I felt that she enjoyed her first session with my God. Perhaps a slight commotion of an intruder running on our level where we were conducting our church session, frantically throwing flier after flier into the air and was finally subdued by the church personnel. A flier dictating that our paster Ronny and Sim are selfish people who are trying to control our fellow Christians' strong beliefs in the preachings of God for their personal gains and glory. Something weird and different that has happened which perhaps is more of the highlight of the day for my Dear.
The Singapore flyer was a first but meaningful ride for me because I get to experience it with my Dear and her precious on Sun afternoon. Even though I was not feeling that well, probably still feeling the effects of the drinks the night before with my Dear. I believe the comforting moment for me is when her precious never failed to brighten up whenever she saw me, and hold my hand as if I am someone close and whom she felt comfortable with. Perhaps at some moments in time, we also end up looking like a family with Dear around. Let's hope such feel-good feelings continue :)
Yesterday, Dear was in a fluster in the morning as her ex hubby renaged on his promise to pick up her precious from her home by being terribly late again, and hence she is not able to head to work on time. That sort of reminded me of my conversation with her at the coffeeshop near my place yesterday having tim sum. I remembered her telling me that before she met me, she would spend many lonely moments at home if her daughter refused to come home with her from her in-laws' place. Her 5 years of marriage basically killed her social life, as well as deepening her hatred towards her ex hubby for the way she was treated. She talked about how she used to cry whenever her daughter refused to come home to now gradually feeling more at ease with her precious at her in laws' place because she can get to hang out with me more often. End of the day, of course I would wish that she can keep a balance between me and her precious so that her relationship with either of us can well and truly improve to a real bonding stage.
Dun worry Dear. Leave behind your hatred for an ex-love in Derrick the absolute jerk to a new love in me. I may not be your perfect man but I will be the one who showers TLC to u. Lonely moments no more :)
"伤口慢慢愈合, 再被爱报复" - 宽恕, 神木与瞳
There are a few insightful moments during the week end which I would like to write about today.
Finally my Dear decided to head to church with me on Sat evening. For a non-Christian liker her, I believe she would have her reservations and concerns when going to church for the very first time. Well I have my first time too as a non-believer, and I can truly understand these reservations and concerns. But then again, I believe in going to church with an open mind and heart, even for now.With all the energetic gospel singing by the wonderful female church singers, backed by group of backup singers and strong casting of band, such a moment is akin to watching my favourite singers at a live concert. I enjoyed the times watching that with my Dear, hand in hand. This is followed by my pastor Ronny giving his usual speech via the phrases quoted in the bible. All these while I tried observing my Dear during her first such session. She seemed expressionless at times but, apart from a slight scare when my mum tried to take the initiative to get a fellow sister to preach to Dear about the teachings from God, I felt that she enjoyed her first session with my God. Perhaps a slight commotion of an intruder running on our level where we were conducting our church session, frantically throwing flier after flier into the air and was finally subdued by the church personnel. A flier dictating that our paster Ronny and Sim are selfish people who are trying to control our fellow Christians' strong beliefs in the preachings of God for their personal gains and glory. Something weird and different that has happened which perhaps is more of the highlight of the day for my Dear.
The Singapore flyer was a first but meaningful ride for me because I get to experience it with my Dear and her precious on Sun afternoon. Even though I was not feeling that well, probably still feeling the effects of the drinks the night before with my Dear. I believe the comforting moment for me is when her precious never failed to brighten up whenever she saw me, and hold my hand as if I am someone close and whom she felt comfortable with. Perhaps at some moments in time, we also end up looking like a family with Dear around. Let's hope such feel-good feelings continue :)
Yesterday, Dear was in a fluster in the morning as her ex hubby renaged on his promise to pick up her precious from her home by being terribly late again, and hence she is not able to head to work on time. That sort of reminded me of my conversation with her at the coffeeshop near my place yesterday having tim sum. I remembered her telling me that before she met me, she would spend many lonely moments at home if her daughter refused to come home with her from her in-laws' place. Her 5 years of marriage basically killed her social life, as well as deepening her hatred towards her ex hubby for the way she was treated. She talked about how she used to cry whenever her daughter refused to come home to now gradually feeling more at ease with her precious at her in laws' place because she can get to hang out with me more often. End of the day, of course I would wish that she can keep a balance between me and her precious so that her relationship with either of us can well and truly improve to a real bonding stage.
Dun worry Dear. Leave behind your hatred for an ex-love in Derrick the absolute jerk to a new love in me. I may not be your perfect man but I will be the one who showers TLC to u. Lonely moments no more :)
"伤口慢慢愈合, 再被爱报复" - 宽恕, 神木与瞳
Friday 24 August 2012
Mr Nice Guy? Or simply Mr Hypocrite?
Today's blog is gonna be precise and perhaps some very true thoughts of mine. My sincere apologies as I can sense that I would probably by falling sick before the end of tonight.
Today's thoughts brings to mine the very first blog I wrote which centres around the notion of Mr Nice Guy. I often see myself as one, which brought me my fair share of joys and sorrows. But sad to say, being Mr Nice Guy is a sorrowful thing to do today. Sometimes Mr Nice Guy simply means I have to make other people happy at the expense of myself. I think towards friends whom I may care about, and towards the one I love, I tend to be very justifiable towards the things they do, even though their actions and thoughts are simply downright ridiculous. I see myself facing that predicament today, to the extent that I seemed to be justifying the way and actions of the people around me.
E has the audacity to cry foul for the way people has been smearing his reputation, despite the clear fact that he has a history of not being totally dishonest when it comes to money issues, whether it has to do with notpaying for his drinks in other pubs, or trying all means and tactics to deceive innocent gals in forking out their hard earned money to feed his desire for alcohol. Sometimes I really wonder if he has a gambling or alcohol issue. But the bottomline is I tend to give people like him the benefit of the doubt, and not handing the death penalty when it comes to his character and integrity. I stopped short of calling him a hypocrite to a certain extent. How do we define hypocrite? Cambridge dictionary defines the meaning of hypocrite as a person who pretends to have morals, virtues, principles and beliefs. But wait a minute, by concurring with his actions and words and trying to even justifying E at times, does that not make me a hypocrite as well? Because I have not stick to my morals and beliefs? Or does Mr Nice Guy do that all the time?
And why is it that tonight, I seemed to have issues with my Dear as well? When I say I dun meet her tonight (since we are planning for a long night of drinks with her friend W) due to certain reasons which I consider valid from a health's and financial's point of view, she said I have changed and according to her exact words "Dun talk crap, now u dun wan to meet me la". When I decided to allow myself to be killed over alcohol abuse despite my incessant coughing by arranging with another friend so that I can meet my Dear tonight, she said just kidding with me and she has no intention to go out tonight.
So?????? What does that leave me??? When I dun meet her, she will say I have changed and dun love her enough. When she dun feel like going, she will say I am petty and dun see her kind of humour. I dun know anymore. When I go with her wishes, I am her Mr Nice Guy. When I dun comply, I seemed to be the Mr Hypocrite. Sometimes, I feel that I am simply too accomodating, to the extent that I dun know who I am.
I think I am developing a fever now. And the cough is not making me any better. Perhaps for once, I should be kind to myself and also buy myself a bottle of cough mixture to tide myself over just for the night. Heading home to rest soon..................
My grudges and complains tonight do not mean that I have stopped loving u. But sometimes there is a reason when I request u to cut me some slack.....
See u tomorrow Dear, if somehow u can see through what I am writing tonight and understand my thoughts better.
Sorry no song lyrics tonight, guess I am too sick to think of one.....
Today's thoughts brings to mine the very first blog I wrote which centres around the notion of Mr Nice Guy. I often see myself as one, which brought me my fair share of joys and sorrows. But sad to say, being Mr Nice Guy is a sorrowful thing to do today. Sometimes Mr Nice Guy simply means I have to make other people happy at the expense of myself. I think towards friends whom I may care about, and towards the one I love, I tend to be very justifiable towards the things they do, even though their actions and thoughts are simply downright ridiculous. I see myself facing that predicament today, to the extent that I seemed to be justifying the way and actions of the people around me.
E has the audacity to cry foul for the way people has been smearing his reputation, despite the clear fact that he has a history of not being totally dishonest when it comes to money issues, whether it has to do with notpaying for his drinks in other pubs, or trying all means and tactics to deceive innocent gals in forking out their hard earned money to feed his desire for alcohol. Sometimes I really wonder if he has a gambling or alcohol issue. But the bottomline is I tend to give people like him the benefit of the doubt, and not handing the death penalty when it comes to his character and integrity. I stopped short of calling him a hypocrite to a certain extent. How do we define hypocrite? Cambridge dictionary defines the meaning of hypocrite as a person who pretends to have morals, virtues, principles and beliefs. But wait a minute, by concurring with his actions and words and trying to even justifying E at times, does that not make me a hypocrite as well? Because I have not stick to my morals and beliefs? Or does Mr Nice Guy do that all the time?
And why is it that tonight, I seemed to have issues with my Dear as well? When I say I dun meet her tonight (since we are planning for a long night of drinks with her friend W) due to certain reasons which I consider valid from a health's and financial's point of view, she said I have changed and according to her exact words "Dun talk crap, now u dun wan to meet me la". When I decided to allow myself to be killed over alcohol abuse despite my incessant coughing by arranging with another friend so that I can meet my Dear tonight, she said just kidding with me and she has no intention to go out tonight.
So?????? What does that leave me??? When I dun meet her, she will say I have changed and dun love her enough. When she dun feel like going, she will say I am petty and dun see her kind of humour. I dun know anymore. When I go with her wishes, I am her Mr Nice Guy. When I dun comply, I seemed to be the Mr Hypocrite. Sometimes, I feel that I am simply too accomodating, to the extent that I dun know who I am.
I think I am developing a fever now. And the cough is not making me any better. Perhaps for once, I should be kind to myself and also buy myself a bottle of cough mixture to tide myself over just for the night. Heading home to rest soon..................
My grudges and complains tonight do not mean that I have stopped loving u. But sometimes there is a reason when I request u to cut me some slack.....
See u tomorrow Dear, if somehow u can see through what I am writing tonight and understand my thoughts better.
Sorry no song lyrics tonight, guess I am too sick to think of one.....
Thursday 23 August 2012
When jealousy sets in....
Plenty of feel-good thoughts for the day :). Last night I had a really enjoyable evening with Dear at my now regular haunt (Lau Pat Sat), which is filled with plenty of good food for us to enjoy. The slight drizzle did not dampened our mood and subsequently we proceeded to Mr Bean's at Selegie for dessert before making our way to MIXXX for drinks.
Perhaps the beer has an effect on my Dear after a while, but for the first time, she actually admitted that she got jealous of me waiting and talking to a waitress, someone she deemed as the type of gal I would go for. Wow!!! Finally Dear shown her true feelings and revealed her jealousy streak in front of me. Somehow I tried to pacify her but at the same time, I was feeling ecstatic and relieved. I realised that I have gradually became an important and special person in her life, and she gets "uneasy" when she sees me with another gal. I conclude that her feelings for me are true, and perhaps when her divorce is finally settled, I hope we can bring our relationship to the next level.
Dear, I hope you do not see your previous relationship with Derrick as a norm to u in gauging your future relationship. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the guy picking up the tabs for most of the outings we have. I feel privilleged and I want to be the person who will care and support u in future. I will work hard and promise not to let u go back to that lowly lifestyle again. In time to come, forget about Derrick and I promise that the nightmare u used to have will be overtaken by all the sweet and realistic dreams of me coming into your life. And of course this will also include your precious.
We had another magical night and I love u more and more.....
"我们用多一点点的辛苦, 来交换多一点点的幸福" - 爱请证书, Stepanie Sun
Perhaps the beer has an effect on my Dear after a while, but for the first time, she actually admitted that she got jealous of me waiting and talking to a waitress, someone she deemed as the type of gal I would go for. Wow!!! Finally Dear shown her true feelings and revealed her jealousy streak in front of me. Somehow I tried to pacify her but at the same time, I was feeling ecstatic and relieved. I realised that I have gradually became an important and special person in her life, and she gets "uneasy" when she sees me with another gal. I conclude that her feelings for me are true, and perhaps when her divorce is finally settled, I hope we can bring our relationship to the next level.
Dear, I hope you do not see your previous relationship with Derrick as a norm to u in gauging your future relationship. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the guy picking up the tabs for most of the outings we have. I feel privilleged and I want to be the person who will care and support u in future. I will work hard and promise not to let u go back to that lowly lifestyle again. In time to come, forget about Derrick and I promise that the nightmare u used to have will be overtaken by all the sweet and realistic dreams of me coming into your life. And of course this will also include your precious.
We had another magical night and I love u more and more.....
"我们用多一点点的辛苦, 来交换多一点点的幸福" - 爱请证书, Stepanie Sun
Wednesday 22 August 2012
Early thoughts for the day....
Perhaps its too early to conclude all my thoughts for the day, but for a start I felt a bit disturbed by my dear's predicament for the morning. Perhaps I can start to understand how a minor disruption in the morning can have a devastating effect on the rest of the day. Apparently, her soon-to-be ex husband failed to pick up her precious on time, plus her soon-to-be father-in-law could not afford the time to pick her up as well. Hence Dear is forced to stay at home to look after her precious before any of them come to pick her up. Naturally this made Dear totally delayed and unable to make it to work this morning. And I believe because of that, somehow her boss came to know about it and made things difficult.
Dear, I know you must be feeling really upset and down because of your ex husband. I know his tardiness and irresponsibility are two of the many reasons for u wanting to leave him. I hope later in the day you will feel better when u meet up with me. Whatever it is, I will always be there for u. Whenever u need me, I will be there for u. Just ring me when u feel like it. I promise to be a responsible person to u when u need me to.
Cheer up Dear?? Muacks n lots of love :)
"你快乐, 所以我快乐" - Faye Wong
Dear, I know you must be feeling really upset and down because of your ex husband. I know his tardiness and irresponsibility are two of the many reasons for u wanting to leave him. I hope later in the day you will feel better when u meet up with me. Whatever it is, I will always be there for u. Whenever u need me, I will be there for u. Just ring me when u feel like it. I promise to be a responsible person to u when u need me to.
Cheer up Dear?? Muacks n lots of love :)
"你快乐, 所以我快乐" - Faye Wong
Tuesday 21 August 2012
Official or unofficial??
Yesterday was supposed to be my long-intended rest day as it was a day after a public holiday on a Sunday. But I somehow managed to ruin it by deciding to rile my mum with her cleaning up of my room antics (which included clearing my drawers and keeping my photos with my female friends). I guess no matter what her reasoning and kind intentions were, I cannot accept the fact that my privacy had been severely invaded as a result. Perhaps that has always been mt compelling reason for wanting to move out eventually.
As usual, my first place of refuge in a situation like this is to head to my favourite pub to cool myself down. Drinks may not exactly aid my current heated state of mind but at least it can get my mind off it for a while. Along the way, I narrated furiously to Dear about what happened, and I do appreciate her listening ear and trying to calm me down. In the midst of it all, she got distracted and scalded her right arm while on the line. Poor Dear. I hope you are feeling better now. I know that u are busy at home taking care of your precious, and somehow I was half hoping that I can see you at the pub and make me feel better. And if my gut feel at that time was right, I was expecting u to come down and keep me company, which you eventually did :)
Even though last night I was still very much affected by my quarrel with my mum, I still appreciate your kind gesture in coming down to keep me company. Your presence makes a lot of difference, especially withe the hugs and kisses. i received :)
Thanks Dear. I hope in good times or bad, we can always be there for each other :)
PS. I heard u call or sms me "Darlin" 3 times today. Yiiipppeee!!!! Officially or not, I guess it does not really matter now :)
"I be your everything... I give u all that I have... my love, my life, my need... I be your everything." - I be your everything, Tommy Page
As usual, my first place of refuge in a situation like this is to head to my favourite pub to cool myself down. Drinks may not exactly aid my current heated state of mind but at least it can get my mind off it for a while. Along the way, I narrated furiously to Dear about what happened, and I do appreciate her listening ear and trying to calm me down. In the midst of it all, she got distracted and scalded her right arm while on the line. Poor Dear. I hope you are feeling better now. I know that u are busy at home taking care of your precious, and somehow I was half hoping that I can see you at the pub and make me feel better. And if my gut feel at that time was right, I was expecting u to come down and keep me company, which you eventually did :)
Even though last night I was still very much affected by my quarrel with my mum, I still appreciate your kind gesture in coming down to keep me company. Your presence makes a lot of difference, especially withe the hugs and kisses. i received :)
Thanks Dear. I hope in good times or bad, we can always be there for each other :)
PS. I heard u call or sms me "Darlin" 3 times today. Yiiipppeee!!!! Officially or not, I guess it does not really matter now :)
"I be your everything... I give u all that I have... my love, my life, my need... I be your everything." - I be your everything, Tommy Page
Monday 20 August 2012
Special bulletin for my dear....
Especially for u, my dear when it comes to losing weight :)
It may not be the first food choice that springs to mind when embarking on a diet, but research findings suggest that eating chocolate in moderation could actually make you slim. The study conducted by the University of California tested the theory that, as chocolate is believed to increase your metabolism, these benefits may cancel out the calories consumed. The results suggested that chocolate may not only be calorie neutral; it can also help you lose weight. The researchers discovered that adults who consumed chocolate frequently had a lower BMI than those who didn’t, despite them often eating more calories and not exercising more.
chocolate health benefits
If you’re experiencing cravings for dessert or fried foods, the good news is you can indulge – so long as you do it first thing. Researchers from Tel Aviv University found that participants who ate a 600-calorie breakfast which included dessert lost an average of 40lbs more than those who had a smaller 300-calorie one. Meanwhile, researchers from the University of Alabama found that eating a fried breakfast followed by a lighter lunch and evening meal could help with weight loss. Experts believe that this is because the body’s metabolism is faster in the morning, making it the best time to indulge. Furthermore, giving into cravings first thing can help banish them for the rest of the day.
According to The Campaign for Real Ale (Camra), one third of people believe that beer has more calories than other alcoholic drinks. However, this is actually a myth, and research by Camra has found that swapping wine or alcopops for beer could in fact help you lose weight. While taking up a drinking habit will clearly do your waistline no favors, the study suggests that making the switch to beer could help keep regular drinkers trim. In fact, Camra’s research findings show that swapping wine for beer for just one week could save as many calories as you would burn in a half-hour jog.
We’ve all heard that fatty foods are bad for us, but the truth is this all depends on the kind of fats you eat. Foods rich in good fats such as omega-3 fatty acids can not only boost your health, they can also help you lose weight. Studies suggest that omega-3 fatty acids can increase feelings of satiety and fullness, helping you to eat less. Furthermore, a study by the University of South Australia found that participants who took omega-3 rich fish oil and exercised three times a week lost more weight than those who exercised alone. It is believed that this is because omega-3 improves blood flow to muscles, increasing the benefits of exercise and helping you to burn off more calories.
You may think that skipping meals will keep you slim, but eating more frequently could in fact help keep off the pounds. While eating too much food can cause you to gain weight, eating too little can also make it surprisingly difficult to shed those pounds. As your body has a natural instinct to protect itself, it will automatically go into starvation mode if not given enough fuel, causing the metabolism to slow down and the body to hoard fat and calories. Rather than skipping meals or lowering your calorie intake too drastically, opt for regular small and healthy meals alongside regular exercise.
Slim surprise 1: Chocolate
It may not be the first food choice that springs to mind when embarking on a diet, but research findings suggest that eating chocolate in moderation could actually make you slim. The study conducted by the University of California tested the theory that, as chocolate is believed to increase your metabolism, these benefits may cancel out the calories consumed. The results suggested that chocolate may not only be calorie neutral; it can also help you lose weight. The researchers discovered that adults who consumed chocolate frequently had a lower BMI than those who didn’t, despite them often eating more calories and not exercising more.
chocolate health benefitsSlim surprise 2: Fried food and cakes for breakfast
If you’re experiencing cravings for dessert or fried foods, the good news is you can indulge – so long as you do it first thing. Researchers from Tel Aviv University found that participants who ate a 600-calorie breakfast which included dessert lost an average of 40lbs more than those who had a smaller 300-calorie one. Meanwhile, researchers from the University of Alabama found that eating a fried breakfast followed by a lighter lunch and evening meal could help with weight loss. Experts believe that this is because the body’s metabolism is faster in the morning, making it the best time to indulge. Furthermore, giving into cravings first thing can help banish them for the rest of the day.
Slim surprise 3: Beer
According to The Campaign for Real Ale (Camra), one third of people believe that beer has more calories than other alcoholic drinks. However, this is actually a myth, and research by Camra has found that swapping wine or alcopops for beer could in fact help you lose weight. While taking up a drinking habit will clearly do your waistline no favors, the study suggests that making the switch to beer could help keep regular drinkers trim. In fact, Camra’s research findings show that swapping wine for beer for just one week could save as many calories as you would burn in a half-hour jog.
Slim surprise 4: Fatty foods
We’ve all heard that fatty foods are bad for us, but the truth is this all depends on the kind of fats you eat. Foods rich in good fats such as omega-3 fatty acids can not only boost your health, they can also help you lose weight. Studies suggest that omega-3 fatty acids can increase feelings of satiety and fullness, helping you to eat less. Furthermore, a study by the University of South Australia found that participants who took omega-3 rich fish oil and exercised three times a week lost more weight than those who exercised alone. It is believed that this is because omega-3 improves blood flow to muscles, increasing the benefits of exercise and helping you to burn off more calories.
Slim surprise 5: Eating more frequently
You may think that skipping meals will keep you slim, but eating more frequently could in fact help keep off the pounds. While eating too much food can cause you to gain weight, eating too little can also make it surprisingly difficult to shed those pounds. As your body has a natural instinct to protect itself, it will automatically go into starvation mode if not given enough fuel, causing the metabolism to slow down and the body to hoard fat and calories. Rather than skipping meals or lowering your calorie intake too drastically, opt for regular small and healthy meals alongside regular exercise.
Darling darling......
Wow it has been a really fantastic past week for me. I guess the amazing part is that I really get to spend plenty of quality time with Dear and her precious.We were not supposed to plan for dinner last night but somehow we managed to spend a splendid late dinner together. The most satisfying part is where I get to bring Dear to taste some really wonderful food, food that makes me go "aaaahhhh", and just by my expression, Dear is pretty convinced that the food to be served should be marvellous :)
Yes I definitely wanna spend more quality time with her precious as well. I can sense that she is also getting comfortable with my presence as well. Hope in time to come, with her permission, I can get to hold Dear's hand in front of her once in a while?? Talking about food, I guess my enormous appetite for the week has really rubbed off Dear, as I noticed that she has been eating way beyond her usual volume. And for a while, she has not been counting her calories vigoriously :).... Well good food is there to be enjoyed once in a while. And perhaps NYDC will be her new favourite place, after getting her virgin taste of the infamous Cookie Monster mudpie!!!! Totally sinful but absolute heavenly!!!! I get this feeling that she may be sneaking off to get another shot at the rest of the mudpies lol!!!
I feel that my life is getting more complete with Dear and her precious around. Hope this feel-good feeling will continue to last :). And I finally get to hear her call me "Darling" before we ended our phone call last night. So sweet, and waiting for the next "Darling" :)
"给我一分钟专心, 好好欣赏你的美." - Kiss Goodbye, Wang Lee Hom
PS A tribute to a good singer who held his concert here in Singapore over the weekend :)
Yes I definitely wanna spend more quality time with her precious as well. I can sense that she is also getting comfortable with my presence as well. Hope in time to come, with her permission, I can get to hold Dear's hand in front of her once in a while?? Talking about food, I guess my enormous appetite for the week has really rubbed off Dear, as I noticed that she has been eating way beyond her usual volume. And for a while, she has not been counting her calories vigoriously :).... Well good food is there to be enjoyed once in a while. And perhaps NYDC will be her new favourite place, after getting her virgin taste of the infamous Cookie Monster mudpie!!!! Totally sinful but absolute heavenly!!!! I get this feeling that she may be sneaking off to get another shot at the rest of the mudpies lol!!!
I feel that my life is getting more complete with Dear and her precious around. Hope this feel-good feeling will continue to last :). And I finally get to hear her call me "Darling" before we ended our phone call last night. So sweet, and waiting for the next "Darling" :)
"给我一分钟专心, 好好欣赏你的美." - Kiss Goodbye, Wang Lee Hom
PS A tribute to a good singer who held his concert here in Singapore over the weekend :)
Sunday 19 August 2012
My longest day with u so far......
Yesterday I spent a rather eventful day with Dear and her precious. We met at IKEA Alexandra as her precious wanted to go to her favourite playground there. She was "stationed" at the playground while me and Dear spent the next relaxing hour doing some shopping at the mall opposite. Subsequently this was followed by a hearty lunch of western food galore (think of spagetti, pizza and dessert). In the end, we decided not to head to church as our activities for the day seemed pretty packed, and I can sense that Dear still seemed to have her reservations about going to church with me. I believe in letting things take its natural course, and I shall wait for her to be more at ease before looking at my place of worship :)
Dear got Derrick to pick up her precious at IKEA, after which we went on our first ever movie date together. Perhaps a horror movie is not exactly my first pick when it comes to our first movie date, and I must say the movie is not really interesting or horrifying, but nothing matters more than spending quality time with my Dear. The funny moment happened after our movie. Perhaps there is a very good reason why Dear called me a seh peh peh :). In the past, I asked if she wanna go home with me, she knew there is only one reason why I popped that question. So for last night, I actually resisted asking because even tough I felt like really wanting Dear, I dun want her to see me that way. So I actually let her board her train home at 9 plus, even though by our standards there is a really early time to part ways. But somehow in the end, we still went for drinks at my previous regular place at Keong Saik. And things just happened and that was followed by us making my way back to my place :) Overall it was a magical night....
But Dear, perhaps what u really wanna hear from me is what I am about to write later. Dear, please forgive me if at times I may not seemed to be understanding enough. This is the first time I am seriously dating a would-be single mother with a child. I know you have your commitments and obligations towards W, and perhaps you cannot devote the kind of time you wanna spend with me. Yes, at times I do get frustrated and a bit men when I see u wanting to head home to your promise of spending time with your precious as well. I should be more understanding. Please also give me more time to do that. I know she will always be part of your life, and I promise to make her part of mine too if we are to be together.
Actually on the contrary I should appreciate you even more because at least I know that you are not an irresponsible mother. You taking good care and committing time to your precious also means that in time to come when we have our own children, you will commit your time and responsibility to them as well. For that, I will try my best and learn to appreciate you more :)
Oh no, my love for u simply grows again.... and I hope we will not get hurt by our overflowing love for each other. PS I hope Derrick will be history forever and u can be mine in time to come :)
"我的爱一天比一天还要坚决, 要给你多些然后再多一些." - 每天爱你多一些, Jacky Cheung
Dear got Derrick to pick up her precious at IKEA, after which we went on our first ever movie date together. Perhaps a horror movie is not exactly my first pick when it comes to our first movie date, and I must say the movie is not really interesting or horrifying, but nothing matters more than spending quality time with my Dear. The funny moment happened after our movie. Perhaps there is a very good reason why Dear called me a seh peh peh :). In the past, I asked if she wanna go home with me, she knew there is only one reason why I popped that question. So for last night, I actually resisted asking because even tough I felt like really wanting Dear, I dun want her to see me that way. So I actually let her board her train home at 9 plus, even though by our standards there is a really early time to part ways. But somehow in the end, we still went for drinks at my previous regular place at Keong Saik. And things just happened and that was followed by us making my way back to my place :) Overall it was a magical night....
But Dear, perhaps what u really wanna hear from me is what I am about to write later. Dear, please forgive me if at times I may not seemed to be understanding enough. This is the first time I am seriously dating a would-be single mother with a child. I know you have your commitments and obligations towards W, and perhaps you cannot devote the kind of time you wanna spend with me. Yes, at times I do get frustrated and a bit men when I see u wanting to head home to your promise of spending time with your precious as well. I should be more understanding. Please also give me more time to do that. I know she will always be part of your life, and I promise to make her part of mine too if we are to be together.
Actually on the contrary I should appreciate you even more because at least I know that you are not an irresponsible mother. You taking good care and committing time to your precious also means that in time to come when we have our own children, you will commit your time and responsibility to them as well. For that, I will try my best and learn to appreciate you more :)
Oh no, my love for u simply grows again.... and I hope we will not get hurt by our overflowing love for each other. PS I hope Derrick will be history forever and u can be mine in time to come :)
"我的爱一天比一天还要坚决, 要给你多些然后再多一些." - 每天爱你多一些, Jacky Cheung
Saturday 18 August 2012
Sneak preview...
Its almost 2am now but pretty much awake. Was feeling excited as I will be meeting Dear and her precious tomorrow for a get-together session. Simply can't wait :)
More updates to follow......
More updates to follow......
Friday 17 August 2012
Mixed feelings for an old love....
Today's focus will veer from a current love to an old one. Usually we would meet for lunch once a month to catch up with each other, but the session was delayed for a month as she has just changed her job, and lunch breaks cannot be stretched indefinitely. Each time I would look forward to such sessions with her, as I would always get some insightful thoughts and viewpoints on the current activities of the civil service.
Each time we met, the topics would usually revolved around her complains on the demands and workload her team is placing on her, and around my property agency happenings and love life. This time though, the main focus is on my "new" relationship, something which never failed to interest her. She always considered my love life interesting, well at least more interesting than her own, since she claimed to have only 2 men in her life back then. For the past 3 years, whichever dates or love stories I related to her, she can sense the nonchalant behaviour I displayed in those relationships. Perhaps she had seen my extreme mood swings and know that these relationships and dates are at best just passing clouds in my diary.
But today she can truly sensed the difference. Perhaps 2 weeks back when I sms-ed during the period when me and Dear were not on talking terms, she can feel that I was really down and out, just from the tone and "mood" of the sms-es she received. So she knows that this could be a new turning point, someone who could make a difference to my love life. I got to the gist of my new-found relationship, updating her with the key points and highlighted some frustrations which I faced due to time constraints on both of us. I guess she understood where I was coming from and what I needed. At the end of it, she simply nodded and said: "Yes, u definitely looked happier now, and I can sensed that u were pretty upset 2 weeks back, just from your sms-es. I can conclude that this gal meant a lot to u."
Me and her used to share so much together. Her words and advice are always comforting and straight to the point. Perhaps at times I still think about what might have been, but perhaps also glad in a way that she is still part of my happy memories. Then I recalled Dear telling me that even if we are not lovers together, she wanted me by her side as her best friend. I guess sometimes when I forged a special relationship with a special someone, that bond still remains even though we are worlds apart now. but of course I still hope that me and Dear will forge a relationship that is beyond a special bond. Perhaps a unique relationship that will last forever, with our kids and grandchildren there to witness our special bond.
"From this moment, as long as I live, I will love u. I promise to give....." - From this Moment, Shania Twain
PS: This is always my favourite wedding montage song :)
Each time we met, the topics would usually revolved around her complains on the demands and workload her team is placing on her, and around my property agency happenings and love life. This time though, the main focus is on my "new" relationship, something which never failed to interest her. She always considered my love life interesting, well at least more interesting than her own, since she claimed to have only 2 men in her life back then. For the past 3 years, whichever dates or love stories I related to her, she can sense the nonchalant behaviour I displayed in those relationships. Perhaps she had seen my extreme mood swings and know that these relationships and dates are at best just passing clouds in my diary.
But today she can truly sensed the difference. Perhaps 2 weeks back when I sms-ed during the period when me and Dear were not on talking terms, she can feel that I was really down and out, just from the tone and "mood" of the sms-es she received. So she knows that this could be a new turning point, someone who could make a difference to my love life. I got to the gist of my new-found relationship, updating her with the key points and highlighted some frustrations which I faced due to time constraints on both of us. I guess she understood where I was coming from and what I needed. At the end of it, she simply nodded and said: "Yes, u definitely looked happier now, and I can sensed that u were pretty upset 2 weeks back, just from your sms-es. I can conclude that this gal meant a lot to u."
Me and her used to share so much together. Her words and advice are always comforting and straight to the point. Perhaps at times I still think about what might have been, but perhaps also glad in a way that she is still part of my happy memories. Then I recalled Dear telling me that even if we are not lovers together, she wanted me by her side as her best friend. I guess sometimes when I forged a special relationship with a special someone, that bond still remains even though we are worlds apart now. but of course I still hope that me and Dear will forge a relationship that is beyond a special bond. Perhaps a unique relationship that will last forever, with our kids and grandchildren there to witness our special bond.
"From this moment, as long as I live, I will love u. I promise to give....." - From this Moment, Shania Twain
PS: This is always my favourite wedding montage song :)
Thursday 16 August 2012
To call or not to call？
I had a wonderful time with Dear last night. In fact we went on our first formal dinner date together, even though the dinner venue is far from romantic. It was at Lau Pa Sat market, mainly to satisfy my craving for satay. We exchanged few words during the meal itself, rather we were indulging in the good spread of food in front of us (think of stingray, lala and puri on top of satay).The dinner moments were sweet, but it got sweeter after we ended our meal and took a slow walk towards China Square Central. We talked, we laughed and our hands held on to each other once in a while, all the while deciding where to adjourn to after dinner. We had our own private moments during that time, moments I hope will last in time to come. U wanted us to enjoy the process and the moments, and not worry about what is going to happen in future.
All these while when I address u as Dear in my blog, I did not seek proper approval from u. But I guess you do not mind, because u know that u are getting closer to me. And I want to get closer to u too. Calling u more intimately makes my heart grow towards u.
So Dear. Enjoy this special form of address towards u.
LOVE U!!
"爱你不是因为你的美而已. 我越来越爱你, 每个眼神触动我的心" - Forever Love, 王力宏
All these while when I address u as Dear in my blog, I did not seek proper approval from u. But I guess you do not mind, because u know that u are getting closer to me. And I want to get closer to u too. Calling u more intimately makes my heart grow towards u.
So Dear. Enjoy this special form of address towards u.
LOVE U!!
"爱你不是因为你的美而已. 我越来越爱你, 每个眼神触动我的心" - Forever Love, 王力宏
Wednesday 15 August 2012
The truth - Relief or burden?
For the past week or so, I have been spending a lot of time out with my dear. Last night I was supposed to have class, but forgot that this week my particular class was having a week's break. Despite my weary body crying for a good rest since I have not been feeling well, I chose to meet up with my dear for a round of short drinks, well apparently. Seeing her always makes my day, no matter how bad the day may turn out to be. Always miss her silly smiles and the way she talked. Totally unlady-like at times but I simply love her :)
Today's thoughts are not so much on E not paying the bill and escaping through the drunk route, as he claimed later on. Rather it has more to do with me. Perhaps its time to face the music and handle the harsh truth. With regards to you, I try to rational and be truthful as much as I can. But sometimes I worry that too much of the truth may also make me vulnerable and for u to judge me. I see you as my confidante, someone whom I can trust. Whatever it is, please trust that I will not do anything to hurt or harm you. At the moment, I do have my financial issues, and I do not wish and definitely unfair for u to be with me at any point now.
All I ask is for you to be my listening ear, and I will work hard to fulfill my financial obligations. I hope u need not wait long, and I need not wait long too for us to be together. As time passes, I realised that u mean much more to me, and I cannot wait for us to develop into a proper relationship when the time comes. But for now my love, please be patient and await a reborned me, who will cherish u even more then that day finally comes.
Of course I cannot expect u to wait indefinitely. If someone else comes along and steal your heart, I will be happy for u. (Of course I hope that will not happen :))
"The best relationship is when your lover is also your best friend and you can be yourself with them and they still love u for who u r." Very true. Love the person for who he or she is, and not what he or she can become.
"我虽然心太急, 更害怕错过你" - 勇气
Today's thoughts are not so much on E not paying the bill and escaping through the drunk route, as he claimed later on. Rather it has more to do with me. Perhaps its time to face the music and handle the harsh truth. With regards to you, I try to rational and be truthful as much as I can. But sometimes I worry that too much of the truth may also make me vulnerable and for u to judge me. I see you as my confidante, someone whom I can trust. Whatever it is, please trust that I will not do anything to hurt or harm you. At the moment, I do have my financial issues, and I do not wish and definitely unfair for u to be with me at any point now.
All I ask is for you to be my listening ear, and I will work hard to fulfill my financial obligations. I hope u need not wait long, and I need not wait long too for us to be together. As time passes, I realised that u mean much more to me, and I cannot wait for us to develop into a proper relationship when the time comes. But for now my love, please be patient and await a reborned me, who will cherish u even more then that day finally comes.
Of course I cannot expect u to wait indefinitely. If someone else comes along and steal your heart, I will be happy for u. (Of course I hope that will not happen :))
"The best relationship is when your lover is also your best friend and you can be yourself with them and they still love u for who u r." Very true. Love the person for who he or she is, and not what he or she can become.
"我虽然心太急, 更害怕错过你" - 勇气
Tuesday 14 August 2012
Lies - Are white lies considered less harmful?
Today's thoughts and reflections have a lot to do with the word "LIES". Why are lies being told in the first place? Is it because we dun want people to find out the harsh truth and make us a less honourable person? Is it because we do not want the truth to hurt the other party? Or simply because we lie to cover for another lie? Since young, I have been taught by my parents to be honest and never lie. The simple reason being we should be brought up as honourable and honest people, and that we should build the trust and reputation so that people around us can believe us and trust that we are good even in the face of evil. Plenty of food for thought in today's topic.
Today perhaps I would like to list a couple of true life examples to explain the myths behind lies. Let's start off with our "good" friend, Mr E. By now, many of us who knows E long enough will know that he is a perpetual liar who seemed to think that, among the lies he has told and created in terms of the financial help that has been rendered to him by people around him, has created a virtual world of lies in which he believed in. From a personal point of view, his virtual world of lies cannot substantiate long enough because usually his firewall is easily broken with simple verifications from people who rendered such financial help to him. Let's take for example a simple case of beer money which he claimed to have been paid, yet the supposed receipient can prove that the bill has not been settled as no cash or credit card details were exchanged during this time.
And E has the cheek to create such a huge ruckus over this incident that he has been wrongly accused that sometimes, simple-hearted people like me would probably fall for it and gave him the benefit of doubt. And the best part is now, he said that perhaps the person who is supposed to pay the bill, Mr A was drunk and forgot about paying. A case of a "white" lie covering another lie? But when such incidents happened over and over again, I tend to believe that the people around him has been wronged instead. E claimed that people are ruining his reputation by smearing him, but i prefer to believe that the people around him have been too tolerant of his virtual world of lies instead. Perhaps we should confer a best actor award to E, anf comfort the people who have rendered financial help to him by saying that the good begets the good, and we should continue doing kind deeds. But kind deeds should be given to people who deserve it. Perhaps E dun fall into that category.
And perhaps at this point in time, I should formally apologise to my dear as well. Because in the space of one night, I told 2 lies to her. Firstly I told her that the nick "Euda" in my blog does not represent anything special. Secondly, I told her to go home with me last night merely to catch up with her favourite drama and nothing else. Of course end of the day, she knew the truth about both events. I simply dun have the heart to lie to her about this, and I want to be totally honest with her. Till now I know she still have doubts about me, but I hope my honesty and integrity can be felt by her in time to come. Deceit and dishonesty will only do more harm than good in the long run. So dear, please forgive me ok? These are my so-called white lies but I hope u can be forgiving over these.
Dear. Let's be honest with each other ok?
I LOVE U.......
"相信你只是怕伤害我, 不是骗我. 很爱过谁会舍得?" - 开始董了, 孙燕姿
Today perhaps I would like to list a couple of true life examples to explain the myths behind lies. Let's start off with our "good" friend, Mr E. By now, many of us who knows E long enough will know that he is a perpetual liar who seemed to think that, among the lies he has told and created in terms of the financial help that has been rendered to him by people around him, has created a virtual world of lies in which he believed in. From a personal point of view, his virtual world of lies cannot substantiate long enough because usually his firewall is easily broken with simple verifications from people who rendered such financial help to him. Let's take for example a simple case of beer money which he claimed to have been paid, yet the supposed receipient can prove that the bill has not been settled as no cash or credit card details were exchanged during this time.
And E has the cheek to create such a huge ruckus over this incident that he has been wrongly accused that sometimes, simple-hearted people like me would probably fall for it and gave him the benefit of doubt. And the best part is now, he said that perhaps the person who is supposed to pay the bill, Mr A was drunk and forgot about paying. A case of a "white" lie covering another lie? But when such incidents happened over and over again, I tend to believe that the people around him has been wronged instead. E claimed that people are ruining his reputation by smearing him, but i prefer to believe that the people around him have been too tolerant of his virtual world of lies instead. Perhaps we should confer a best actor award to E, anf comfort the people who have rendered financial help to him by saying that the good begets the good, and we should continue doing kind deeds. But kind deeds should be given to people who deserve it. Perhaps E dun fall into that category.
And perhaps at this point in time, I should formally apologise to my dear as well. Because in the space of one night, I told 2 lies to her. Firstly I told her that the nick "Euda" in my blog does not represent anything special. Secondly, I told her to go home with me last night merely to catch up with her favourite drama and nothing else. Of course end of the day, she knew the truth about both events. I simply dun have the heart to lie to her about this, and I want to be totally honest with her. Till now I know she still have doubts about me, but I hope my honesty and integrity can be felt by her in time to come. Deceit and dishonesty will only do more harm than good in the long run. So dear, please forgive me ok? These are my so-called white lies but I hope u can be forgiving over these.
Dear. Let's be honest with each other ok?
I LOVE U.......
"相信你只是怕伤害我, 不是骗我. 很爱过谁会舍得?" - 开始董了, 孙燕姿
Monday 13 August 2012
我生病了.....
My reflections for the day are two-fold: Things that happened last night and this morning....
I had a wonderful evening with my dear and her precious. Even though I was not feeling too well last night, but seeing my dear really makes my day. Her silly smiles and laughter really perked me up. Even playing around with W was a joy, even though I was too much a tad slower than her in playing athletics events related to the Olympics. Let's hope we be able to do more of such gatherings in future. W sees Dear as her protector. I hope in time to come, I can be their protector too :)
Woke up this morning feeling totally wizzy: sore throat, cough, flu n fever. 4-in-1 combo as I would put it. I knew something was wrong when I first opened my eyes this morning. I sms-ed her about my condition and that I will be consulting the doctor this morning. Her reaction was a simple "rest well". All of a sudden, I felt worse than before. Was it because I was expecting more and I should have the privillege of expecting more since I was not feeling well? In my current state, I thought so. Then again, I realised that perhaps she may not be the TLC type of gal and she dun display such emotions readily. And rather, the more pausible reason is that she treats me merely as a friend, and for friends, a simple "rest well" is good enough. But its ok. I will still wait for my dear to show more concern for me. She is worth my every wait....
Pretty true too, so I should be contented with her just being around me. It reminded me of my dengue fever situation back in 2008. I was lying in bed for around 10 days, feeling intense pain in my bones and veins most of the time. I was not with anyone at that time, but how I wish someone could be there to offer me comfort and hugs to make me feel better. Perhaps when one is sick, the thought of having someone we love to be there for us makes it so much sweeter in times like this..... I mean family members aside....
Just have to bear with all this sickness alone for now.... Still waiting in queue to see the doctor... super crowded...
Hope I get better after today.....
PS I confirm I Love U :)
"多想再为某人忙禄和分享, 却怕空忙一场" - 多想, 张信哲
I had a wonderful evening with my dear and her precious. Even though I was not feeling too well last night, but seeing my dear really makes my day. Her silly smiles and laughter really perked me up. Even playing around with W was a joy, even though I was too much a tad slower than her in playing athletics events related to the Olympics. Let's hope we be able to do more of such gatherings in future. W sees Dear as her protector. I hope in time to come, I can be their protector too :)
Woke up this morning feeling totally wizzy: sore throat, cough, flu n fever. 4-in-1 combo as I would put it. I knew something was wrong when I first opened my eyes this morning. I sms-ed her about my condition and that I will be consulting the doctor this morning. Her reaction was a simple "rest well". All of a sudden, I felt worse than before. Was it because I was expecting more and I should have the privillege of expecting more since I was not feeling well? In my current state, I thought so. Then again, I realised that perhaps she may not be the TLC type of gal and she dun display such emotions readily. And rather, the more pausible reason is that she treats me merely as a friend, and for friends, a simple "rest well" is good enough. But its ok. I will still wait for my dear to show more concern for me. She is worth my every wait....
Pretty true too, so I should be contented with her just being around me. It reminded me of my dengue fever situation back in 2008. I was lying in bed for around 10 days, feeling intense pain in my bones and veins most of the time. I was not with anyone at that time, but how I wish someone could be there to offer me comfort and hugs to make me feel better. Perhaps when one is sick, the thought of having someone we love to be there for us makes it so much sweeter in times like this..... I mean family members aside....
Just have to bear with all this sickness alone for now.... Still waiting in queue to see the doctor... super crowded...
Hope I get better after today.....
PS I confirm I Love U :)
"多想再为某人忙禄和分享, 却怕空忙一场" - 多想, 张信哲
Sunday 12 August 2012
My assignment for today.....
Last night while talking on the phone with my dear, she gave me an interesting assignment. She wanted me to dissect and analyse the actual meaning behind the lyrics of her recent favourite song 身骐白马. A personal favourite of mine too which she subsequently fell in love with :). So this morning I spent some time looking at the lyrics as well as doing some research online. I have 2 versions of analysis from 2 lead ladies in the lyrics, so u see which is more appropriate:
《身骑白马》是一首国台语相间的歌，唱的是千金小姐王宝钏嫁给薛平贵后，在寒窑苦守十八年，薛平贵外出打仗居然跟西凉的代战公主结了婚。十八年后当薛平贵知道王宝钏还在苦等之后，就抛下了公主和西凉的官位，跑回去找王宝钏。
歌词前一段写代战公主的心情，后一段及副歌写薛平贵回家的心情，副歌是台语，选自杨丽花的歌仔戏。
For the chorus version, it narrates how 薛平贵 rides his horse and crosses many barriers from 西凉 back to 中原 to see 王宝钏 upon learning that she is still alive and has been waiting for him for the past 18 years. This is the straightforward part.
The first part of the lyrics can be seen from the viewpoint of 代战公主 (according to online critics) or 王宝钏 (according to my point of view). It speaks of the unwavering love and pinning for someone (in this case 薛平贵) who is no longer with her side. It depicts how the ladies felt that they were never wrong in their love and commitment to this guy, and that as long as they are still alive and remain at their usual meeting place , one fine day their love and commitment would bear fruits and rewards.
From 代战公主's point of view, even though 薛平贵 has left to look for 王宝钏, she is still hoping that he would come back to her one day. In short, this is an excruciating love story whereby not all devoted lovers end up in bliss and harmony.
Truly touching lyrics. So this is how I analysed the lyrics. Hope you get better insights into the lyrics dear.
Have a good rest of the weekend :) Muacks
"追赶要我 爱得不保留" - 身骐白马
《身骑白马》是一首国台语相间的歌，唱的是千金小姐王宝钏嫁给薛平贵后，在寒窑苦守十八年，薛平贵外出打仗居然跟西凉的代战公主结了婚。十八年后当薛平贵知道王宝钏还在苦等之后，就抛下了公主和西凉的官位，跑回去找王宝钏。
歌词前一段写代战公主的心情，后一段及副歌写薛平贵回家的心情，副歌是台语，选自杨丽花的歌仔戏。
For the chorus version, it narrates how 薛平贵 rides his horse and crosses many barriers from 西凉 back to 中原 to see 王宝钏 upon learning that she is still alive and has been waiting for him for the past 18 years. This is the straightforward part.
The first part of the lyrics can be seen from the viewpoint of 代战公主 (according to online critics) or 王宝钏 (according to my point of view). It speaks of the unwavering love and pinning for someone (in this case 薛平贵) who is no longer with her side. It depicts how the ladies felt that they were never wrong in their love and commitment to this guy, and that as long as they are still alive and remain at their usual meeting place , one fine day their love and commitment would bear fruits and rewards.
From 代战公主's point of view, even though 薛平贵 has left to look for 王宝钏, she is still hoping that he would come back to her one day. In short, this is an excruciating love story whereby not all devoted lovers end up in bliss and harmony.
Truly touching lyrics. So this is how I analysed the lyrics. Hope you get better insights into the lyrics dear.
Have a good rest of the weekend :) Muacks
"追赶要我 爱得不保留" - 身骐白马
Saturday 11 August 2012
U are always on my mind :)
The feel good feeling carried on from last night all the way till now, and I really hope this feeling is everlasting. Am I asking for too much? Now that we are talking and joking as before, does that mean that I should just take the feel good feeling for granted? I think the more I cherish u, the more I feel that I should work hard and make u happy. I love u dear.
I think the little things Eric mentioned about has a lot to do with this blog as well. This is an open declaration of my feelings and thoughts about u, yet it remains as a little secret between us. Just us. I hope one day, just us can be announced to people we know that we are an item. I know that reality is still some distance away, but I hope that distance will be narrowed down over time.
We took some photos together using Eric's samsung phone yesterday night. Actually the more I see it, the more I feel that we are more and more compatible. LOL. U may ask: am I just saying it to make you happy? But I like the way we look together in the photos. And somehow I can feel with the blissful look on your face. Lately I can sense that you are happier again. Is it because of me? I hope so...
And I hope we will get to take many photos together in future. Next time we include W ok? MUACKS!!
"Cause I rather hurt than feel nothing at all..... " Need U Now by Lady Antellebum
I think the little things Eric mentioned about has a lot to do with this blog as well. This is an open declaration of my feelings and thoughts about u, yet it remains as a little secret between us. Just us. I hope one day, just us can be announced to people we know that we are an item. I know that reality is still some distance away, but I hope that distance will be narrowed down over time.
We took some photos together using Eric's samsung phone yesterday night. Actually the more I see it, the more I feel that we are more and more compatible. LOL. U may ask: am I just saying it to make you happy? But I like the way we look together in the photos. And somehow I can feel with the blissful look on your face. Lately I can sense that you are happier again. Is it because of me? I hope so...
And I hope we will get to take many photos together in future. Next time we include W ok? MUACKS!!
"Cause I rather hurt than feel nothing at all..... " Need U Now by Lady Antellebum
Friday 10 August 2012
Thursday 9 August 2012
Days with U (9th August, sunny)
Happy National Day Singapore!! And really happy to see Mr Lee KY among the grandstands during the parade this evening. This is perhaps my happiest National Day, because my prayers over the past few days have been answered. A mini miracle has happened: My dear S has came back to me, and we have reconciled :). I do not ask for much at this point in time, just that I can be there for her and try to make her happy within my means.
We spent an incredible close to 18 hours together on this magical day, most of the time just cuddling up to each other and enjoying some intimate moments and talk together. I sincerely hope we can spend more time together like this. Now I am starting to believe that she is perhaps God's gift to me. But at times like this, when things are turning out too well for us, I worry that one day a misunderstanding or a quarrel or even an action on my part will push her away from me again. It's as though I am split between 2 extreme worlds, heaven and hell. I wish in time to come, we would be enjoying more heavenly moments instead.
I was pleasantly surprised and yet ecstatic when S confessed to me that she is starting to like me a little and miss me at times. This is the first time I heard her telling me how she feels about me. I hope we can always be happy and I will take every opportunity within my means to cherish and appreciate her. She is my 开心果. She is my mood operator as well. Thanks dear for coming back to me.
No matter what happens, I will always cherish u. Sorry dear for mentioning on the idea of lover. I know you were upset after I mentioned it, judging from the response of your sms-es.Please do not be angry or upset ok?? Given a choice, I would like to elevate our current status from "F" to "G" if u allow me to. I am starting to change my feelings towards u from "LIKE" to "LOVE" :).
"I would want to tell u that I love u more than life, more than life" - That Girl by David Choi
We spent an incredible close to 18 hours together on this magical day, most of the time just cuddling up to each other and enjoying some intimate moments and talk together. I sincerely hope we can spend more time together like this. Now I am starting to believe that she is perhaps God's gift to me. But at times like this, when things are turning out too well for us, I worry that one day a misunderstanding or a quarrel or even an action on my part will push her away from me again. It's as though I am split between 2 extreme worlds, heaven and hell. I wish in time to come, we would be enjoying more heavenly moments instead.
I was pleasantly surprised and yet ecstatic when S confessed to me that she is starting to like me a little and miss me at times. This is the first time I heard her telling me how she feels about me. I hope we can always be happy and I will take every opportunity within my means to cherish and appreciate her. She is my 开心果. She is my mood operator as well. Thanks dear for coming back to me.
No matter what happens, I will always cherish u. Sorry dear for mentioning on the idea of lover. I know you were upset after I mentioned it, judging from the response of your sms-es.Please do not be angry or upset ok?? Given a choice, I would like to elevate our current status from "F" to "G" if u allow me to. I am starting to change my feelings towards u from "LIKE" to "LOVE" :).
"I would want to tell u that I love u more than life, more than life" - That Girl by David Choi
Wednesday 8 August 2012
Days Without U - Day 5 (8th August, sunny)
Tomorrow is National Day. Guess today Wydia should be happy in school, joining her classmates in the celebrations. I assume she will be dressed in red and white, and singing "We the Citizens of Singapore.....". LOL. I wish you are still around to share the happenings with me.
It's still probably early but I guess I will be able to see some of W's photos posted in fb later. I guess from now on, I can only make do with your updates via fb. This morning woke up with a headache and slight fever. Definitely not my usual self. Today, I m at the bugis office. On my way here, surprisingly everywhere in town seemed quiet. Pretty different from the buzz in the town on the eve of a public holiday which I'm expecting. Whatever it is, the "Missing U" mode is still in operation. Last night on the long journey home via train, as I was sitting there in the crowded cabin, I was thinking of u. The body and soul were pretty tired after an intensive 3 hours teaching session. But somehow at 10.30 pm last night, I was still wondering what u were doing at that time.
I was thinking of going out for drinks, but guess in the "men men" mood I might end up getting tipsy and calling or sms-ing u again. Ha I was still telling Eric that day if he sees me getting almost to high state if we ever out drinking, he should confiscate my mobile to prevent me from doing anything silly again. I saw an interesting English movie over the weekend on how friends with benefits move on from each other once one party develops strong feelings for each other. When the time comes, I will try some of the methods given. Perhaps for now, I still harbour hopes that I get a chance to explain and probably get to reconcile with u.
HAVE A GOOD EVENING AND NIGHT AHEAD DEAR......
"我不是一定要你回來 只是當又把回憶翻開
除了你之外的空白 還有誰能來教我愛." - 失落沙洲
"只是愈看見 海闊天空
愈遺憾 沒有你分享我的感動." - 失落沙洲
PS. 失落 is a good word to express how I feel right now......
It's still probably early but I guess I will be able to see some of W's photos posted in fb later. I guess from now on, I can only make do with your updates via fb. This morning woke up with a headache and slight fever. Definitely not my usual self. Today, I m at the bugis office. On my way here, surprisingly everywhere in town seemed quiet. Pretty different from the buzz in the town on the eve of a public holiday which I'm expecting. Whatever it is, the "Missing U" mode is still in operation. Last night on the long journey home via train, as I was sitting there in the crowded cabin, I was thinking of u. The body and soul were pretty tired after an intensive 3 hours teaching session. But somehow at 10.30 pm last night, I was still wondering what u were doing at that time.
I was thinking of going out for drinks, but guess in the "men men" mood I might end up getting tipsy and calling or sms-ing u again. Ha I was still telling Eric that day if he sees me getting almost to high state if we ever out drinking, he should confiscate my mobile to prevent me from doing anything silly again. I saw an interesting English movie over the weekend on how friends with benefits move on from each other once one party develops strong feelings for each other. When the time comes, I will try some of the methods given. Perhaps for now, I still harbour hopes that I get a chance to explain and probably get to reconcile with u.
HAVE A GOOD EVENING AND NIGHT AHEAD DEAR......
"我不是一定要你回來 只是當又把回憶翻開
除了你之外的空白 還有誰能來教我愛." - 失落沙洲
"只是愈看見 海闊天空
愈遺憾 沒有你分享我的感動." - 失落沙洲
PS. 失落 is a good word to express how I feel right now......
Tuesday 7 August 2012
Days without U- Day 4 (7th August, cloudy)
I think gradually, all these postings will reflect my daily life and feelings, and thoughts for the day spending without u. Today I felt more at ease, at least for now even though the day is not over yet. Am I feeling better, or is that the calm before the storm? Only God knows. But alas I still thinking of you :)
Received a call from our dear Eric during lunch. Actually it's more of returning his call since he tried to sms me late last night past midnight because he seemed to be moody (men men) last night. Turned out he went out for drinks at his nearby coffeeshop and got emotional. And I thought I should be the one getting emotional and trying to heal a broken heart in the weeks or perhaps months to come.
He told me u asked about me, and how I'm doing. I was happy initially, because I thought perhaps u still care. Then he told me that u are worried, or rather scared that I may appear at your house again. Then my mood went downhill again. Then you mentioned to him about bringing me to meet new gals. Suddenly, I realised that perhaps you really want me to just move on and forget about you. Perhaps all these while, the feel-good feelings, thoughts and actions accumulated between us do not exist anymore. I guess efforts do not always equate to rewards. I was heartbroken, to say the least. Total understatement.
After I hung up the phone with Eric, I still do not know why he was being emotional last night. Was it Rachel (he told me a lot about how he was accused of still owing $400 beer money)? I dun think so because I know he dun really care. So who else can it be? I guess it must be one of his gals again. In the past whenever I hung up his phone, I would take the first chance to call you and discuss, or rather gossip about stuff like that and make our own silly speculations. And we will have a good laugh over it. Now I dun think it will ever happen again, and I felt a stinging pain inside me.
I have the sudden urge to call u, but I know things are different now. Perhaps you feel differently now. Another long long night for me, just like the previous 3 nights. But wait perhaps not so long as I got class tonight. Will volunteer to do another class for tomorrow night as well. At least the night is shorter and more bearable.......
STILL WAITING FOR THE CHANCE TO RECONCILE WITH U. AND STILL MISS U LOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"就是这一失眠的夜, 我就会彷望你的出现" - 失眠夜
Received a call from our dear Eric during lunch. Actually it's more of returning his call since he tried to sms me late last night past midnight because he seemed to be moody (men men) last night. Turned out he went out for drinks at his nearby coffeeshop and got emotional. And I thought I should be the one getting emotional and trying to heal a broken heart in the weeks or perhaps months to come.
He told me u asked about me, and how I'm doing. I was happy initially, because I thought perhaps u still care. Then he told me that u are worried, or rather scared that I may appear at your house again. Then my mood went downhill again. Then you mentioned to him about bringing me to meet new gals. Suddenly, I realised that perhaps you really want me to just move on and forget about you. Perhaps all these while, the feel-good feelings, thoughts and actions accumulated between us do not exist anymore. I guess efforts do not always equate to rewards. I was heartbroken, to say the least. Total understatement.
After I hung up the phone with Eric, I still do not know why he was being emotional last night. Was it Rachel (he told me a lot about how he was accused of still owing $400 beer money)? I dun think so because I know he dun really care. So who else can it be? I guess it must be one of his gals again. In the past whenever I hung up his phone, I would take the first chance to call you and discuss, or rather gossip about stuff like that and make our own silly speculations. And we will have a good laugh over it. Now I dun think it will ever happen again, and I felt a stinging pain inside me.
I have the sudden urge to call u, but I know things are different now. Perhaps you feel differently now. Another long long night for me, just like the previous 3 nights. But wait perhaps not so long as I got class tonight. Will volunteer to do another class for tomorrow night as well. At least the night is shorter and more bearable.......
STILL WAITING FOR THE CHANCE TO RECONCILE WITH U. AND STILL MISS U LOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"就是这一失眠的夜, 我就会彷望你的出现" - 失眠夜
Monday 6 August 2012
Days without U - Day 3 (6th August, cloudy)
It's been 3 days since we actually talked. I remembered just days before fri night, I asked u back if u want me to give u up. U casually mentioned said no la, just kidding. Probably did not expect a confirmed "Yes" from u on Sat morning when I ask if u want me to give u up. I was devastated but yet I can sense that u really meant it becoz I have never seen so many sorry's from u in just a few sms-es sent.
I dun know what to say. I can only recall that I reacted slightly when Willliam and u were teasing me quite a bit over our games-playing over drinks. U took me away from the smoking gallery and told me to go home, and all I wanted to do was to explain that I was not drunk and I can still remember what happened. But seeing how incensed u are, I chose not to get into an shouting debate with u after a while. Things went downhill after that. I wished all this had never happened.
I dun know if I will ever get another chance with u again. U really meant a lot to me. I never meant to upset u in that manner at all, as I really tried my best to keep my sanity that night. I really did. I guess we may never talked the way we did again. I guess we may never sms the way we did again. I believed I may have messed it up this time round. Whatever it is, I still hope for one last chance. Just one more chance will do. I CAN QUIT DRINKING FOR UR SAKE IF U CAN TRY TO FORGIVE ME.
Please S dear, please give me another chance. I really cherish u.
"And I wonder if I ever cross your mind... for me it happens all the time...." - Need You Now
I dun know what to say. I can only recall that I reacted slightly when Willliam and u were teasing me quite a bit over our games-playing over drinks. U took me away from the smoking gallery and told me to go home, and all I wanted to do was to explain that I was not drunk and I can still remember what happened. But seeing how incensed u are, I chose not to get into an shouting debate with u after a while. Things went downhill after that. I wished all this had never happened.
I dun know if I will ever get another chance with u again. U really meant a lot to me. I never meant to upset u in that manner at all, as I really tried my best to keep my sanity that night. I really did. I guess we may never talked the way we did again. I guess we may never sms the way we did again. I believed I may have messed it up this time round. Whatever it is, I still hope for one last chance. Just one more chance will do. I CAN QUIT DRINKING FOR UR SAKE IF U CAN TRY TO FORGIVE ME.
Please S dear, please give me another chance. I really cherish u.
"And I wonder if I ever cross your mind... for me it happens all the time...." - Need You Now
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)