Tip No. 4: A simple physical gesture...

   Tonight's post is gonna be short and sweet. I noticed that many a times, paying lip service is nowhere compared to the simple gesture of holding Dear's hands. Studies have shown that babies who grow up being touched more frequently by their parents and loved ones are more caring and concerned about people around them compared to those who are touched less frequently. I have no idea whether I belong to the first category but being kinky aside, I believe in the gesture of touching for love.

   Holding hands not only convey the message of love and care, it also brings about a good level of connection. When we hold hands and walk together, we are in sync with each other in terms of path and movement: we see the connection between us. Even a simple gesture of patting Dear's head, her back or even the back of her hands while letting her walk first when going up the escalator in a crowded place, or even when I am talking to someone but yet still trying to maintain the connectivity with her. All these will gradually points to simple acts of love and connection.

  Ha nothing too physical beyond that tonight, but u are always on my mind :)

  Love is not so much about how often I say I love u, but about how much I can prove that it is true....

 

Tip No. 3: A simple prayer

     I know Dear has been feeling down and frustrated these days because of her ex-husband. So we decided to meet up yesterday evening for some good old Rocher ice-cream with waffle to cheer her up. I am not too sure how much her mood has perked up at the end of the night, but I do know she is feeling better already when she asked a question. She asked why I can be so tolerant of her mood swings for the past few days. I merely smiled and held her hands, and said I would be there for her when she needs me. As I can see, Tip 2 is already doing its wonders.

   A friend of mine posted the 5 golden rules to happiness which I think is very true:

   1.  Free your heart from worries
   2.  Free your heart from hatred
   3.  Live simply
   4.  Expect less
   5.  Do more.

   Perhaps Dear can think about the 5 golden rules and somehow you will feel better after that. Things may get a bit tight for the next one month or so, but hey you have been through worse and had survived well. So u can definitely make it. I believe in you :)   


   Tip 3 is merely got to do with a simple prayer to your God. Whatever religious beliefs u may hold, a simple prayer and talk to your God not only lets your head and lips pray for the good things such as happiness, good fortune and good health, but somehow it also has the effect of giving u a better peace of mind after that. A prayer to God may not give u the resolution u wanted immediately, but God always has the strange effect of making things better for the future to come.

   Try it tonight for 5 mins before you sleep tonight. Talking to God can be talking to your best friend: no restrictions and no specific techniques to talk to HIM. Just talk to him with your heart and soul, and HE will listen to u. At the very least, HE can grant u a better sleep.

  I will say a silent prayer for u as well every night. God Bless U Dear....

50 tips to a healthy relationship with Tee: Tip No. 2

  Instill a smile every day in the relationship. Your infectious smile is what drives me on every day, even if we do not meet up every time. I can sense your smile even over the phone, whether it's over something silly I said or do. So I believe I should also portray a smile each day as well. Life is short and it has to go on, no matter how lousy it may be.

  With Dear around, a smile each time will turn into ten smiles a day, and eventually escalates to a hundred a day perhaps.

  So smile your day away.....

And an additional photo of ur fave actor right in the chest :)

 

50 tips to a healthy relationship with Tee: Tip No.1

    Tolerance and adherence to her is key, no matter how "demanding or unreasonable" my Dear may be, I must be absolutely patient and tolerant of her. She may have her extreme temper, extreme way to vent her anger (especially through really harsh words towards me), how she may be really 口是心非. But deep down in my heart, you are still around.

   I still remember a few months back when you took a cab back home from obar, and I went back to the pub and drank further. I remember sitting at the couch with Eric, and thinking of you, suddenly I broke down and really cried. I have not really cried for a gal for a long time, and perhaps that was when I realised I really like u. And for the first time in a long time, I was afraid of losing someone....

  I still remember that feeling then... I hope that feeling will linger for a long long time....

 1 down, 49 more to come.....

The introspective aspect of things to come...

   Finally back in Singapore after spending my first overseas trip in the hotel with Dear. Although this is our second trip to KSL, it was a pretty satisfying trip for the 2D1N. I believe more satisfying in terms of food, experience and "loots" for Dear. But perhaps in a way also satisfying for me too because I thought because of my "flirty" endeavours, this trip would not have materialised in the first place.

   My casual and flirty sms-es with her Thai friend almost became a disaster, but nonetheless, things still managed to come to a better conclusion. With Dear firmly in my life now, I believe all these flirting ways will end up a natural death. And I defnitely dun see the need for me to be an Agony Aunt to gals in general, whether it is a ex flame, a close female friend or simply a female friend "referred" to me.

  And also time for me to stop going beyond the call of duty to help certain friends. Friends are meant to be cherished and I believe a true friendship has to be mutual in terms of views and thoughts. It is with this thought in mind that the absolutely unbelievable incorrigible "E" be forever banished and hard-deleted from my phone list and memory. All previous thoughts of chasing him for payment and subsequently shaming him shall be put to rest. RIP "E" lol.

  Perhaps I should spent some time in dedicating the 2D1N JB trip to words here, but I believe these are better placed as memories in our hearts. Both Dear and I knew where the sweet memories are :). Let's take a introspective view of our relationship and hope for better things to come. Discard the unwanted and embrace the brand new good :)

  And in a way, I look forward to seeing ur elder sis and some of ur family members too...

  Have a nice day Dear... Definitely miss u :)

Hoping...

   No matter what, I still feel strongly for u... hope u can leave the incident on sat behind and I really hope to see u on tues morning....

   Love u...

Sorry seemed to be the hardest word...

   有时候我觉得这一路走来不容易. 有时侯, 一句简单的sorry就够了, 不过昨晚不知为何就是不能平扶我当时的心情. 我知道以我昨晚的态度, 以你的性格, 你一定不多问而吊头就带W离开.

   I took the train towards Admiralty, but after 10 minutes i stopped at Yew Tee, alighted and went back to Jurong East... I walked aimlessly around the interchange and food court, hoping to catch a glimpse of u.... I went to FairPrice, hoping to catch a glimpse of u..... I went to JCube and searched all 4 levels, hoping to catch a glimpse of u..... I bought a drink at 7-11 and sat at the stands on the 4th floor and watching people ice skate.... for around 30 minutes....

   U told me u did not need me to change the currency for u because u dun feel like going anymore.....  I start to ask myself if this is really all my fault end of the day.... I dunno anymore... 当时的我, 觉得委屈, 觉得不开心. I have been feeling down since the night before.... u are not wrong to say no to me the night before, but somehow I feel down... I remember telling u that sometimes u must lower your expectations towards certain things.... I realised I start to have expectations of u. And now I realised perhaps its wrong of me to have those expectations towards u. For now, u are not my regular partner, u are not my girlfriend, u are not even my lover.

  Must we always rely on my blog to convey my thoughts and feelings towards u? I dunno... maybe I have became a freak without me knowing..... I hope W loves the lego set.... I spent more than 3 hours walking to Atrium to get it, then walking around killing time while waiting for u, then walked my way from Tanglin Mall to Holland Village before taking a train back to Jurong. I did not want to go back home to take a short rest in case my mum asked, so I told u I be early, hoping u can come earlier to meet me. U may think that u are only slightly late than your scheduled 6.20pm, but perhaps to me, I spent most of the afternoon waiting for u. Hhhmmm wrong and misplaced expectations, but worst part is end of the day, we did not spent the evening together. I really look forward to seeing u, but I just cannot cheer myself up on time when I see u..... I had a long long day yesterday, not to mention I am already late for church even by the time u arrived and we did set off from Jurong....

  I know your temperament, I know your character. And you are right, so perhaps I have been wrong all these while. I overestimated myself......

  Guys should be more big hearted and initiate the "sorry" first... Sorry, but this time round, sorry seemed to be the hardest word.....

  PS I do look forward to JB trip, but from the look of things, I dun think it will happen. I leave it to u....

 

Something about u....

   Hi Dear. Dun take offence with me today for pointing out ur acne problem. I know u have been trying ur best to resolve it and I just voicing out my concerns.

   All along I like u the way u are as time goes by, except for ur straight talking at times. What I m about to say are just merely coincidences, and I hope even if there may be similarities, dun take too much to heart and take it the wrong way. My feelings for u never change...

   Sometimes I look at u and think whether u may be God's sent gift to me that represents part of my past. Some of ur actions, behaviours and thoughts reminded me at times of my various ex gfs and lovers. Take for instance your "yes yes yes" or "dui dui dui" and your voice tone, I being reminded of Kris. Your huge assets, I being reminded of Agnes and Sara. Your close relationship with ur only daughter, I being reminded of Dawn. These uncanny similarities make me wonder at times u r pretty similar to the women who used to have such a huge impact in my life. In one way or another, they have been such an influence that at times I am still being reminded of them...

   But that does not mean anything. Just a reflection which I wanna share with u...

So what am I??

    Today's thoughts and reflections will focus more on my personal developments and future goals. A huge scolding from my mum yesterday had me labelled as a useless, irresponsible and uncaring guy, and its perhaps any gal's misfortune to ever marry me one day. Extremely harsh words from someone who had borne me and should be the one who understands me the most, other than my late grandma.

    And earlier on, i was reflecting on this comment made by someone in fb that he finds property agents pathetic because they are mostly uneducated and they have no choice but to be property agents.Throughout my 2 years as an agent, I have come across many an agent who is not highly educated but still do a good job as a property agent. In fact some of them are even doing a better job compared to many graduates. I guess it is also time to self-reflect on why despite my higher education, I am not performing as well as a property agent as compared to some of my peers.

   This morning I also read up on Pamelina Siow, a 32yo lady who racked up $14,000 worth of credit card bills and was on the verge of a mental breakdown before she decided that her current banker's job will not allow her to clear off her debts in a short while. She took the initiative to attend personal financing courses and internet marketing before she decided to do up a website linking people interested in learning the violin to violin schools, and hence earning commission from these referrals. And she went on to set up online businesses and also conducts courses for people keen to set up internet businesses. For someone who has zero knowledge on internet marketing to conducting courses on her own within 4 years, I must say she is an inspiration and role model to me. Coincidentally, Pam has been a "friend" in my fb for almost a year and I do get regular updates from her. Perhaps its time for me to attend some of her free courses too.

  My Dear told me that she should also act as an inspiration and role model to me, for she has also experienced worse scenarios and she is also able to pick up from where she left behind and went on to have a better life. Yes, definitely time for me to pick up where I left off and move on to be a better person. Given my educational background and my character, there is no reason why I cannot clear my debts and become a better person.

  Gambate Eugene Loh......

What a super lousy day....

    Today is really just one of those lousy days whereby my mum just decided to pick the time before I leave for school to start nagging and making up her money reasoning again. She would just go on and on and on after I made the simple word complaint of her being "lorsor"....

    And just because of the need to save money to repay my debts and to be able to save enough so that I can move out soon, I replied to my Dear that perhaps the trip to JB be cancelled or postponed till things get better for me. And she felt that I made the carnial mistake of answering Yes too soon to her suggestion. And all of a sudden, she felt so distant away because I know she started to doubt my intentions. And start to judge that I am actually a cynical person who makes one big round of getting her to say perhaps this is not a good time to go JB in view of my financial issues with my mum.

   Sigh. I have to endure a full hour of straight nasty nagging from my mum without any form of retaliation, and also out of respect for my dad who said I should not talk back to my mum no matter how nasty her words are. And then I have to endure my Dear's judgement of the "not going to JB" issue. Why is it that in the midst of trying to please everyone, I started to get these people upset instead????

   Perhaps for once, I should start to make myself happy instead of pleasing everyone? To do more or less??

   Sighing is the only thing I can do at the moment.....

I miss miss u....

   So strange to be away from u after just seeing u for most of the day yesterday.... I realised that actually I do miss u.... and that silly silly smile of yours which I miss.... so I decided to hang on to u till everything about u is settled... I wait for u and ur good news ok Dear?

  Love love u.....

 

Thanks for the memories.....

      Today is 9th September, which by right should represent another milestone in our intimacy (think of 7th July and 8th August). However, it represents the day whereby we have to put our current relationship and status on hold till my Dearest settle her divorce. I made a painful decision of letting her go for the moment till the time comes whereby we can openly do things a normal couple will do. And able to openly receive the blessings of those around us. Happiness always seemed so distant for both of us. Perhaps its really a case of 两个对的人却在错的时侯爱了一回.

    I will really miss her during this period of time. But for now, I will always remember the lovely memories we have behold during the happy times we had together. If u really wanna ask what I like about u, my 30 odd blog updates so far would have reflected at least 30 things I really like about u. As a summary, here it goes:

1.  I like talking to u on the phone. I missed your constant talking and clatter on nonsense stuff. Over time, u have always been a calming influence on me however bad my day may seemed.

2.  At times, u encouraged me to go for other gals instead of u. But I can sensed a slight jealousy at times from u if i do talk to other gals, which really made my day :)

3.  Days out for drinks without u will never be the same again, because with u around, I will always feel elated and never feel lonely again.

4.  Not forgetting our "Fridays" together. Magical is still the word to use as we seemed to perform such great intimacy together :) Yes will definitely miss that :(

5.   Your initiative in wanting to take photos of us in almost everywhere. Will always miss that super smile on your face in all of our photos.

6.  Your in-depth analysis and interest in my favourite song 身骐白马, which subsequently also turn out to be yours. I hope you will always be reminded of me whenever u hear this song...

7.  For having Wydia in your life, and subsequently in my life too. She is definitely a gift from heaven to u, and I hope if the future permits, she will also be our gift from heaven :)

8.  For always been honest and frank with me in all aspects of your life, which is why all the more I appreciate u in the face of endless lies from our dear friend Eric.

9.  For being the listening ear u have towards me whenever I have something to pour out upon, no matter how agitated or upset I m at that point in time. If you have been a psychiatrist, I would have to pay a fortune just for u to listen to me :). Just kidding. U have been a great companion so far.

10.  For accompanying me to Lau Pat Sat for my favourite satay whenever I feel like having it. I know u would burst your calories intake for the day whenever u are out eating with me, and I truly appreciate the sacrifice u made for me.

11.  For always wanting me in your life as that special someone, whether as a best friend or lover. I hope the end answer is a bf and subsequently a husband :)

12.  For having that special ability to make me miss u terribly and always looking forward to seeing u :)

13.  For always finding the time for me even when u have work and family commitments, especially on Wydia. The whatever time we spend together will always be priceless to me. I appreciate the long long hours we spent together at times.

14.  For enduring my at times girlish antics and behaviour, even though there may be times u could not stand me at all.

15.  For your sometimes incensed obssession with your calories intake and ways to lose weight. Somehow it has rubbed off me and I start to look at calories intake for food as well :)

16.  For never failing to make my day every time u decide to call me "Darling". Haha high high and steam steam :)

17.  For getting angry with ur ex hubby whenever he gets irresponsible with her actions and behaviour. Somehow it made me realise that u are actually a responsible person towards ur family and work. I like that trait about u.

18.  For being resolute about not getting into another bad relationship and wanting to make things better for u and ur precious. This made me think hard and wanna work hard for our future if we end up together.

19.  For ur straight talking which sometimes really frustrate me a lot, and also made me think hard after that and reflect on the things u said. Eh this makes it a both a good and bad point about u.

20.  For being big hearted enough to step into a church for the first time in your life because me. I really appreciate that and I would love to bring u there again sometime.

21.  For being obsessed with weight loss so that u can be a more attractive woman for yourself, and also towards me in one way or another. (Think compatibility between our physical outlook, but seriously I like the way u are)

22.  For making me realise that sometimes love alone is not enough. Being practical should be one of our aims in life, and we should work hard towards it.

23.  For the fact that even if we may have our own differences and opinions during every quarrel, we still care a lot for each other :)

24.  For making dinner for me for the first time. Good wife material :)

25.  For enduring my extreme mood swings when my favourite Liverpool lost :(

26.  For being someone who makes me look towards having a wonderful future with her, in terms of romance and work wise. (Always thought of us working together in real estate one day)

27.  For loving whatever gifts I may have sent u during our days together, even though they may be budget constrained at times.

28.  For making me realise that even though we cannot be officially together now, one day when we do end up together, I will appreciate u even more.

29.  For making me realise that through all the blog updates I have done for u, every day is a wonderful journey and new discovery about u. I wish this journey will never stop, even though it may have to stop for now.

30. And finally u made me realise that for all the quarrels we ever had, u just made me miss and love u more.

   And that shall be my final post for now. Dun miss me too much (or if u do, I will be glad knowing that I still have a place in your heart.)

  And finally the lyrics to this song may not fit us, but I still find it meaningful at times:

  " You have no right to ask me how I feel, u have no right to speak to me so kind" - Separate Lives, Phil Collins.

  PS. Trust that I just wanna spend the night together with u. Sms me if u feel that way...

 

我怀念的.....

    我怀念的是挣吵以后还是想要爱你的冲动.......

    - 我怀念的,  Stephanie Sun...

  

Oversensitive am I?

     When I first started this blog, it was used mainly to vent my frustrations on one heartless Jasmine who apparently discarded me as a close friend. Subsequently it was used to show my love and affections for one clueless S. Clueless perhaps she has not exactly made up her mind about me, whether we should be together. One of the main reason being she has not finalised her divorce. Valid reason so I accept that. Tonight during our hearty dinner at Holland V, she told me a second reason would be my roving eye towards gals that come in my direction. Before that, I always said that my future partner has to be really generous towards that "defect" of mine and that she should always be assured of my love. Not a easy thing to do even though I had some gfs and lovers in the past who are big-hearted enough. For me it works both ways: I dun mind my partner checking out gorgeous hunks and even telling me about it. Chances of her accepting this "defect" about me is pretty slim, so I guess very likely I would have to be celibate and be totally devoted to her. Well perhaps I do have to come to terms with that harsh fact.

   After tonight, there is a third reason, and perhaps a really tricky one. It has very much to do with our fiery tempers. We had quarrelled and clashed a few times in the past. This time round, because of the way she had commented on my sense of achievement over the low passing rate of my students, I got a bit agitated. As usual I wanted her to cut me some slack with regards to the way she put certain things across. But she felt very strongly that I am being overly sensitive and that there is nothing wrong with her "straight talking". I can admit to that and wanted to reach a compromise. But knowing her fiery temper, I know 9 out of 10 times, she would definitely expect me to give in to her. I dunno..... Its bad enough that I have trying my best to sort out the syllabus and trying to improve it so that my students can benefit more in future. But for now, I am not too sure if she is still the pillar of strength I see her in my times of down and need.

  Not to mention a fourth reason which has to do with my hornyness and my own physical need. She felt that if I really do love and respect her, then perhaps abstinence of "home run" for at least 60 days would go a long way in showing it.

   Now with all these factors turning into a reality check for me, at this time and moment, I dun think I have a direct solution to it.

  Let's take a break for tomorrow friday. I would like to be alone for now. I see you on sat for our JB short getaway.....

  PS. I still feel very strongly for u, and really hope we can work things out.... when things happened, I have to bear part of the blame too..... right now, I can only say the "straight talking" might be the greatest stumbling block.
 

Officially unofficial....

    Today's thoughts are pretty simple and straight-forward. For a long time, if status quo for both of us is single and available, I believe things would be much easier for both of us. Unfortunately this is never a perfect world. Hence the thing to do now is just wait and wait and wait..... Keep things simple between us till the divorce issue is settled. Well right now, she is not considered mine yet....

   So for now, it is officially not a couple yet. Just friends. Purely friends. And there is really nothing much I can do except to still show care and concern. Let's hope the relationship bears fruit end of the day....

  "让我们学习忍耐和付出, 这爱情一定会有张征书, 征明从此不孤独." - 爱情征书, Stephanie Sun

Wanna come my place tonight?

    Today's thoughts and reflections are mainly on the events which happened yesterday. Yesterday marked the first time I officially gave Dear a present. It took me some time to decide on the model, but end of the day I decided on a white Baby G watch with a pink face. Simple yet sweet. My Dear had a muted response upon seeing the present, but she reassured me that she loved the surprise present. She commented that I should give her another 6 watches, so that she can wear a different one each day and constantly be reminded of me. Great idea it seemed, and I hope I will be able to give her 6 more watches in the course of our relationship. 6 more sweets :)

   We had drinks at Obar last night. Our dear friend Eric seemed to have disappeared into thin air, with him not responding to my several sms-es. Yet he is able to post and like our posts in FB. This is a clear indication that he no longer has the means to pay for the outstanding drinks. Good riddance to me perhaps, and strangely no one seemed to miss him around anymore.

  The topic of heading towards my place after each drinking session seemed to bother Dear in one way or another. On one hand, she did not wanna get too physical with me and ending with a home run. On the other hand, she did not wanna upset or disappoint me too much. End of the day, as long as my Dear is happy, I will be happy too. Well perhaps I should do with abstinence for now till we became an official couple.

   忍忍忍!!!

   "你快了, 于是我快了." - Faye Wong

How does our future look?

    Despite the fact we are behaving exactly like a couple, no official status has been confirmed between us yet. Well at least not for now. My mum has started seeing Dear as my gf, and common friends around us are pretty much convinced we are a pair. Perhaps we are in a situation whereby we are both not ready to be confirmed as a couple. Even if we are, how does the future hold for us? I certainly hope that things will develop well for both of us.

    We have known each other for 3 months already, and have been spending a lot of quality time together for the past 2 weeks or so. I believe Dear's major concern is whether I really like her to be together and what if things turn stale between us after the honeymoon period. Right now I can only try my best to reassure her that things are developing fine between us. I am not exactly an interesting person and I may turn out to be a real bore at times when we are together. I just hope I can keep things afresh between us. I really appreciate and treasure her and I hope we can still develop further. I still harbour hopes of making a fresh start in property business and I know with Dear's support and encouragement, I will be able to do it again.

   I may be able to squeeze out enough time for dinner around Bugis tonight. U wanna meet me then???

  "我愿变成童话里你爱的那个天使, 张开双手变成翅傍守护你." - 童话

Oh no Liverpool.....

    As time goes by, I will try my best to do a daily blog to narrate my thoughts and reflections for the day. As my relationship with Dear deepens, perhaps it may be a gradual shift from our honeymoon period to a more stable relationship. I know my Dear's concerns, that she is worried she will gradually fall for me and I may get sick of her one day. And perhaps even worrying that one day, I may get so sick of her that I cannot wait to get rid of her.

   Well I do not have a definite answer for her, because at this point in time we are not officially dating. Due to personal issues pertaining to both of us (her pending divorce and my financial woes), I can only say that we may not be able to date freely as we would love to, just like any normal couple. All I can assure you is that my feelings for u never change, and even in a stable relationship, we can still rely on each other for each other's thoughts, feelings and views. We may be worlds apart, and perhaps u still feel that for all the shortcomings which I have pointed out about u (looks wise, figure wise and character wise), but that does not mean that u are not a wonderful person who have come into my life. Your shortcomings are nothing compared to how deep I feel for u. I thank God for knowing u, and making our relationship all that wonderful to me.

  And sorry Dear for getting so emotional about Liverpool on our night out together at Liquid Kitchen. Some things simply raised my passion and Liverpool has always been one of them. Just bear with me for now ok? Perhaps the day Liverpool wins the Premier League, I would be a different person :)

  Love u....

  PS. For tonight I believe my Dear is a bit angry with me for not calling her tonight. Sorry Dear, I did called twice on both your phones and I really thought u were asleep hence not picking up my calls. Perhaps really time to change my mobile instead ba. Dun be angry ok? Muacks. Always a personal joy talking to u on the phone :)

  PS. Tonight a bit brain dead so no song lyrics to serenade u : )

First dinner for me.....

   Dear must be wondering why I have not been updating my blog as often as I do lately. Well I do not wanna sound lazy but this might turn out to be a blessing in disguise, as I have been spending more time with her and her precious. Yesterday we had a good time having desserts at Swensens', and somehow I realised that Dear is actually making concessions for my sake. She seemed to be more feminine and soft spoken, if so I noticed. Her precious seemed to really like having me around too, as she had a really good time playing games with me using her new found balloon :)

  My maiden trip to MBS was also pretty interesting, as the place is really big and crowded with people. Her precious is really engrossed in her balloon that she actually fell on the floor at one stage when she was chasing after it. Suddenly she cried as she seemed to have brushed and hurt her knee a little, while Dear was buying candies for her. This is the first time I seen the little gal cried but I comforted her and made her stop by promising Coke as exchange :). Hope her precious will have more happy days ahead with me as well.

  Her precious's maiden trip to LPS was accompanying me more on having my favourite satay as well. Nothing much on that particular trip, except that I realised Dear did not smoke for the entire period she was with me. Thanks Dear for making the extra effort to please me. But I hope u can give up smoking in time to come for your own health reasons.

    And of course, tonight I am looking forward to the first time u cook for me. Delicious curry awaits me at Dear's place. And her precious has been waiting to see me since morning :)

  " I dun care who u r, where u r from, what u did, as long as u love me." - As long as u love me, Backstreet Boys.